Okay…let’s get into this. Some of U/us spent years leading double lives. W/we work, socialize, raise families, etc…all while having desires and needs that most folks might consider dangerous. Losing custody of children, breaking the law type dangerous. So W/we kept a large part of who W/we truly are hidden. We might do this because there are circumstances that prevent U/us from coming out so we don’t eff around and jeopardize O/our jobs, families, etc. E/everyone’s situation is different. this girl could be herself around her Inner Circle but had to be careful elsewhere due to her profession. And that gave her peace. W/we must all take inventory of O/our lives before, during and after taking the steps to disclose. Do whatever brings Y/you peace. After all…it’s O/our Thing first and foremost, right? But for some, W/we decide to share that part of O/ourselves with people W/we love and trust completely. A big gamble. So…W/we tell them about who W/we are, what W/we do and why. And in that next moment, W/we don’t breathe. In the silence between O/our disclosure and their response, some of U/us ponder what they are going to say or do. Some of U/us remind O/ourselves that W/we could care less what they think and it won’tstop U/us from being U/us. W/we remind O/ourselves that these folks love U/us and will support U/us. And then…the conversation continues. The questions start flying.”Why are you like that?” “Who taught you about this?” “Does everyone know?” “What about your children?” Every conversation is about Y/you now. Y/you get a text at 2 in the morning: “Question. Do you spank them or do they spank you?” Y/you laugh, roll over and go back to sleep. Y/you call to say hello to Y/your sister, and then: “So I’ve been thinking. Have you thought about just stopping? Go back to being normal?” Y/you’re at the mall with Y/your friend. “Should we go look at lingerie in Vickie’s? Or do you wear the wild latex outfits? I bet those are uncomfortable!” 15 minutes later at lunch: “Do you have to do ANYTHING they tell you to do?! (To the waitress) “My bestie is into BDSM! I’m okay with it!” Sigh. Round and round W/we go. Somehow easing the stress of keeping Y/your happiness from Y/your loved ones has made Y/you miserable. So now what? For some, coming out to family and friends is more stressful than any other experience. For others it’s a simple conversation. At the core of it is Vulnerability and Transparency. Baring O/our soul to those closest to U/us is sometimes like reopening a wound that has healed. We ask O/ourselves if it’s even worth it. Well…sometimes it is. Being able to live O/our lives openly can help not only U/us but it can help educate others. Some may not think that it is O/our responsibility to educate others about O/our Thing. Noted. But the questions and statements might be less traumatizing and/or aggravating if folks know what’s up. So it merits a few moments of Transparency and Vulnerability in order to help folks be more open minded. Yeah, some of U/us could care less how folks feel. But this is bigger than U/us. The more open minded folks there are, the more safe spaces W/we have to be U/us. And that is a wonderful thing, right? For those of U/us who may still struggle with who W/we are this is yet another opportunity for growth. After all…BDSM is NOT a bunch of amoral people who spit in the face of propriety and live depraved lives. W/we do not engage in (insert any shaming word here) activities that make U/us evil. As a matter of fact, W/we are respectful, responsible, successful members of society. W/we love fiercely. W/we recognize, acknowledge and accept O/our flaws. W/we don’t judge; W/we encourage others who live alternative lifestyles. W/we commit to other people in ways that those who judge U/us actually envy. W/we are willing to learn and grow. Not sure know how Y/y’all feel, but this girl carries a certain amount of pride in herself for knowing who she is, what she needs, having a loving and supportive support system, a Magnificent King, freedom and peace! So let’s continue to be the kind, tolerant, and amazing people that W/we are, Y/y’all. W/we are no better or worse than others…W/we are simply U/us. And when W/we are transparent and vulnerable with people about O/our Thing, sometimes W/we can help them see that. Something to think about. 😊
~His Duchess
