Dungeon nights were always interesting for her. Especially when she was a Monitor. One summer night she watched as the guests arrived. Some were new while others were frequent visitors. Then she focused on a striking couple that just walked in. Confident, immaculately dressed, and poised. They found a seat toward the front and sat down. A member of the Staff approached them and quietly informed them that seats were assigned and seating isn’t until 7 PM. Their response was…interesting. “Ridiculous! We flew across the country to be here and you expect us to stand up until someone tells us when and where to sit?! Go get the Host! NOW!” The Staff Member walked off. As another group of guests arrived, she watched the striking couple become more agitated as they waited. They approached another couple and began to talk to them. And then she heard a loud voice say “Please keep your hands to yourself!” she hurried over to them and diffused the situation as the Host walked up to her. “I’ve got this now, thank you. Make sure everything else is in order, please.” she walked behind the partition and checked the table. Everything was in place. Then she heard voices. LOUD voices. Checking her watch, she saw that it was time to get things started. As she placed the Seating Chart on an easel, the striking couple was being escorted out. Oops, she thought to herself. They’re going to miss the ceremony they flew across the country for because they had no manners. Another eventful Dungeon Night.
Okay, y’all. this girl always addresses the Four Pillars (Honesty, Trust, Respect and Communication, respectively), but now she will take some time to address them in greater detail. Ready? OKAY!
The late great Aretha Franklin sang her heart out about it. Even spelled it out. First up…RESPECT.
What IS respect? Well…the dictionary definition goes something like this:
re·spect
/rəˈspekt/
(noun)
- a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
- due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
(verb)
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
this girl was taught some basic essentials of BDSM and was given an assignment to connect the Four Pillars to them. Respect was the easiest for her.
*Don’t touch someone else’s property without permission — whether it is a toy or a person.
*Be tolerant of others
*Respect other people
*Respect other people’s relationships
*Respect other people’s sexuality
*Respect other people’s gender identification
*Be polite! Say “please” and “thank you” and apologize when you should.
The concept and act of Respect is pretty simple, right? Well not for everyone. The main reason why is because Respect means different things to different people and some consider respect more important than others.
Remember the couple in the beginning? Well…they missed a few of these.
It should also be repeated that Respect means different things to different people and some consider respect more important than others. There may even be some of you who disagree with the Essentials that were listed above. Different perspectives. But be mindful of the main point…Respect itself is essential.
What happens when Respect is damaged or lost altogether? Well…depending on the people involved, the environment and situation, in Our Thing it could result in Sanctions, Exile, dynamics ending, etc. That’s a lot. So obviously, disrespect is a costly gamble.
Take some time to assess how respectful you are. Take some time to reflect on how much Respect matters to you. Take some time to consider how you want folx to demonstrate their Respect for you. And do all of this as often as necessary.
Thank you for reading.
~ His Duchess
