Okay, y’all…this girl has questions.
- Who the hell said that BDSM is a race or competition??? We see it every day…someone posts a photo/video/etc and the comments are littered with “I’m not as experienced as you guys!” or someone on that condescending, superior, arrogant type crap. Knock it off. We all have unique experiences and journeys. The phrase “Everyone is different” is a FACT. ACCEPT IT. Instead of trying to keep up with, copy, imitate, follow, obsess over, criticize, judge, shame, etc. someone else’s progress, we seriously need to focus on ourselves.
- Y’all know that BDSM isn’t all about sex, right? Asking because whenever Our Thing is mentioned in some conversations things get sexual QUICKLY. Well, there are aspects of Our Thing that are not about penetration at all, y’all. It’s also more involved than what we may see in porn. There is a lot of mental gymnastics involved through Trust, Communication, Honesty and Respect. So try to remember that not every person involved in BDSM is into being tied up during sex, y’all.
- Y’all know that there are STRAIGHT male submissives, right? So stop assuming shit because someone could assume things about you too because of what you’re into. No need to go further into this one.
- Y’all know that there are MANY ways to be Poly, right? Ask questions, do some research, TALK ABOUT IT. Figure out where or how you fit. And if you aren’t about that life, speak up LOUDLY so everyone can hear you and keep moving forward on your journey. Be true to yourself first.
- Y’all know ENTHUSIASTIC consent is critical, right? If there is an ambiguous response to a question or request, STOP. Make sure that everyone involved understands the difference between CONSENT and COERCION in the very beginning. It’s one of this girl’s Vetting Questions.
- Y’all know you don’t have to attend a million events to be part of the Community, right? Of course it would be super cool to be able to travel and meet every living legend, author, expert, sexy smart person, etc. in the flesh or have some kinky fun with an icon, right? But then the bills come and bring us back to reality lol. After all…Our Thing can get expensive already without travel expenses, hotel stays, entry fees, etc in the mix. Budget for it. Attend when and if you can actually afford it. There are several online. And most major events are scheduled WAY in advance so you have months to plan for it if you want to attend.
That concludes THIS Reality Check. There will be more. Thanks for reading.
~ His Duchess
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