Disclaimer: Just a reminder that these opinions are mine and mine alone based on what I have personally witnessed or heard throughout my journey that I want to share with you.
Just as we all know that we should not drink/do drugs and operate a motor vehicle plenty of people among us still do. Often times we feel as though we have only had a drink or two, roll up a joint, pop some X, and that we are fine and still in control. This is exactly what indulging in drugs and/or alcohol does…And to be quite honest, the reason that so many of us like to partake in it…It reduces anxiety.
The thing is that this very anxiety is also the root of some of our natural instincts that keep us out of trouble by giving us that sixth sense or intuition. Regardless of what you may have heard…No matter your size, physical condition or your prior conditioning to alcohol consumption or drug usage you will be impaired by just one drink.
Now, before you pull out the pitchforks and light the torches, understand that I am not advocating for a minute that you choose to abstain from rolling one up or making another toast with your friends or loved ones because you are in a D/s relationship. I am suggesting that there will be certain activities that you may want to avoid while you have been partaking.
You should not have to consider selling your car because you are going to partake this weekend, just do not elect to drive it.
The same type of consideration should be given to your D/s relationship. No one would suggest that you forfeit your Dominance and submission relationship or abstain from having sex after you decide to indulge in drugs and/or alcohol.
As someone who likes to be more proactive than reactive, I tend to schedule scenes with my submissive and play partners days if not weeks ahead of time…This allows me to carefully attend to every detail. My one standing rule: No drugs or alcohol prior to a scene!
Another consideration in a D/s relationship is alcohol/drugs and punishments. I will not punish Dahlia while I have been drinking or while I am angry. If there is an infraction that at the time I feel would justify a punishment I will acknowledge it and we will discuss it the following day. There are studies that link alcohol use to outward displays of anger or aggression especially in people that are already prone to aggressive behavior.
The following is not meant to be a conclusive list but rather a quick illustration regarding some of the more prevalent effects of alcohol and drug use during BDSM play.
*Poor Communication – Effective Communication is a pillar of a strong D/s foundation. While under the influence of drugs or alcohol there is a much greater opportunity for miscommunication and misunderstandings…Especially if one is already influenced by outside vanilla influences. It only takes a few words to significantly damage the trust in a newly formed BDSM relationship.
*Reduces Anxiety – During a scene the Dominant may be trying to effect the submissive by inducing a flood of endorphin’s into the blood stream in order to get the submissive into subspace. If the submissive’s natural fight or flight mindset is altered due to alcohol she may not be able to reach subspace and the Dominant may increase the amount of stimulation trying to drive the submissive to the desired state causing injury.
*Increased Tolerance to Pain – The submissive may not recognize when real damage is being inflicted upon her body…Which personally is a great concern of mine since my submissive and play partner are pain-sluts.
*Unintended Consequences – Loss of judgment allowing the submissive to do something that she would not normally allow or do.
*Strength – A Dominant my not realize his or her own strength or the actual intensity level in which they are operating. This will be compounded with the submissive being impaired and not exhibiting their normal reaction to the level of intensity being inflicted on them. For those who have scened with me or have seen me in action, you know that I am naturally “heavy-handed”, which is another reason that I will not scene while intoxicated.
*Judgement – Judgement is all inclusive with every decision, activity and action that you make during a scene…The ability to recognize bad situations as they develop. The ability to recognize submissive’s pleasure vs pain is greatly reduced. The ability to recognize when the submissive’s restraints are too tight inhibiting proper circulation. These are only a few examples of the many things that could be effected by poor judgement, again it is all inclusive in everything that you do.
One may push too far by not recognizing the submissive’s true physical or psychological state of mind. The submissive’s common subtle reactions, moans, sweat, etcetera will be influenced by her reaction to the drugs or alcohol.
You may begin to believe that you know better than your submissive by trying to push her limits to new heights.
You may become focused on yourself or your own actions, goals or gratification and become completely unaware of your submissive’s physical or psychological state.
You may feel as though you are in complete control but your ability to control yourself or your submissive is greatly diminished. If you were thinking that alcohol will eliminate or reduce the awkward feeling that you experience prior to a scene it very well may but at an unsafe and substantial price.
Again, this is my less than humble opinion but as a Dominant, I feel it is my duty to be a responsible Dominant and do not use or allow my submissive or play partners to use any drugs or alcohol prior to scenes/play.
