Being Dominant is not a replacement for having a personality. Some tend to think that it is and if they can be Dominant, then it would help them to associate with people who would not associate with them in the “vanilla” world. I guess this is why one of my classifications in the world of BDSM would be that of a Gentleman D/Type or Gentle Dom.
There are quite a few aspects of being a gentleman which might seem (At least on the surface) to actually be in a conflict with being a Dominant. Some may feel that it is even impossible to be both but I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is not only possible but even desirable to combine the two into something which is greater than either one alone. Anybody can intimidate a person with bullying tactics, harsh mannerisms and ill-tempered actions.
This is NOT Dominance.
Creating in someone the desire to obey requires a subtle…seduction. This can be achieved by being both confidant in yourself and elegant in your manner. It takes more than just barking orders, tying someone up and spanking them in order to inspire a willingess, a desire to do as you wish and be at your side.
When I was staying abroad, I attended a private dinner with my fellow Doms/Dommes etc. our respective submissives/slaves what have you. One submissive who was quite petite, was having difficulty in opening a door whilst carrying a somewhat heavy object. I walked over to her, opened the door for her and asked if she need some assistance to which she politely said no. After this, a male D/Type approached and started going on about what I was doing and what asking what kind of Dominant I was. Looking back he may have believed that the submissive was, in some manner, topping me from the bottom in order to complete her task. My response was simply stating that it was the right thing to do.
Chivalry may be wounded but it is not dead.
Did my actions inspire this submissive to fall to her knees and beg for a scene? No, she did not. I did not do it in order to seduce her. I did not do it to seduce anyone. My little submissive, Dahlia has seen me do things like this on many occasions. What does it make her think of me you ask? Well, you would have to ask her since words are one of the few things that I will not put in her mouth. I would like to think however that this side of me is a part of what inspires her to kneel before me.
Within my current BDSM relationship and with past ones, I believe there are aspects of gentlemanly behavior which forms a thread through what is shared. I hold open doors for her, I also open car doors in order to assist in entering and exiting (And become slightly irked when she opens the door for herself) I will say please when ordering her to do something and thank her when it is competed. When standing on a street, I will shield her from the wind and rain with my body. I take care of my little Dahlia. I help others who are in need and although I am not always successful, I try to be a Gentleman.
This is but a part of what is Matthias. Dominance with Gentlemanly good manners, elegance and grace (Again, thank you Mistress Sensory) is a awesome combination.
