This one is boring. You will probably stop reading. Chances are that you’ll never read this Column again. But…here goes nothin’.
The Bartender smiled and said, “What can I get ya, hon?” As she scanned the back patio she realized that she felt out of place. She turned back to the Bartender, smiled and said, “Yes…a fully fueled getaway car.” They both laughed. Several other people came to the bar. One man said to her, “That is a cool ass necklace! How do you take it off?” Taking a deep breath and sip of her drink, she prepared to respond. She smiled and said, “It doesn’t come off.” It was at that point that a lady in their group touched the man’s arm and whispered in his ear. His eyes became fixed on the Collar. He then turned and huddled with 3 men in the group. As she walked away from the bar, 2 of the men followed her. “What’s up, beautiful? Bet you’re bored as hell here, huh?” She smiled and said, “Not at all.” She returned to her table. They sat down, too. “I bet you know a great after hours spot. Somewhere to have some REAL fun, right?” She had heard enough. She got up and walked away. In the ladies room, she was washing her hands when she noticed the whispers. Here we go, she thought to herself. Heading back to the reception, a couple walked toward her. “We’d like to talk to you about something…private. We saw a video online so we know what you do. We’d love to spend some time with you.”
Wowwwwww, she thought to herself.
She excused herself and headed for the door.
In a matter of minutes, several people were given information about her and ran with it. Once she was in her hotel room, she laughed, shook her head and relaxed. “Here we go AGAIN.” She already knew that more would come tomorrow morning. She had several new Friend Requests and messages. She shook her head.
as·sump·tion
/əˈsəm(p)SH(ə)n/
noun
A thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
In life there are many things we all know to be true. There are just as many things that we convince ourselves are true.
Okay, I’ll ask…who has experienced someone making assumptions about them and their Alternative Lifestyle activities? That little gleam in their eyes when they find out about us? The body language? And then…we can see their wheels turning. And sometimes, they immediately flood us with questions and/or declarations. And that informs us how they manage their assumptions about us and the Alternative Lifestyle as a whole. Here are a few Fun Facts regarding some assumptions made about us OFTEN…
Fun Fact: Watching Bondage Porn and having rough sex does NOT mean you are a Dom. And being choked or even dominated during sex does NOT mean you are a sub.
Fun Fact: You cannot insult or shame someone about their lifestyle then get salty when they don’t want to play with you.
Fun Fact: Thirst is an automatic turn off.
Fun Fact: Everyone has the right to be selective.
Fun Fact: Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, deserves respect and freedom from judgment.
Fun Fact: Flirting will NOT always lead to sex.
Fun Fact: When someone in a relationship turns you down it doesn’t mean their partner is insecure or controlling. Accept that they just don’t want YOU.
Fun Fact: Understand and accept that everyone is not on the same level.
Fun Fact: A LOT of male submissives and female dominants are STRAIGHT.
Fun Fact: We are NOT sex monsters who are so horny that we will hump anyone that smiles at us.
Fun Fact: We are incredibly kind, considerate, safe and authentic.
Now…we ALL make assumptions, y’all. this girl made several assumptions at the beginning of this article. We may not be as far out there, but it happens every day. A few tips about Assumptions…
- Acknowledge they happen. Such is life.
- Ask questions. Exchange assumptions with facts instead. Clarification is the key.
- Listen with your full attention. Don’t zone out when you hear something that intrigues, annoys, arouses or upsets you. You’ll miss the information needed to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunication.
- Bring mindfulness into your daily life. Take time to process everything.
- Breathe through emotional reactions and uncomfortable assumptions. Recognize how you feel and get beyond your knee jerk reactions.
Remember…Our response to an effed up or even innocent assumption can bring clarity or conflict.
Also, expectations formed by assumptions will oftentimes be unrealistic because they are not based in fact.
Now…for those of you who read this and proved this girl’s assumptions false…thanks, y’all.
~ His Duchess
