Ever hear someone call their partner “Daddy” or “Mommy” and feel a little grossed out? Does the idea of an adult identifying as a “little” make you wonder what is wrong with them or wonder what that even means?
Granted…While there are some sick people in the world, the Mommy/Daddy/little dynamic in D/s relationships has nothing to do with children, pedophilia, or having “Mommy/Daddy issues.”
Note: I often refer to my submissive partner as “My little Dahlia” or “Little girl” while she refers to me as “My Sir” or “Daddy”. Because of choices that we have made in our relationship, we try to use these names when we are alone, can not be overheard, or are in a group of fellow kinksters.
How other people choose to handle the titles they use is a personal decision.
The Daddy (Or Mommy) Dom/little girl (or boy) dynamic in D/s is often misunderstood, even by those within the BDSM lifestyle. Responsible kinksters are hyper aware of the need for consent. The idea of children somehow being involved, even as fantasy, is enough to freak people out.
I get it..I really do.
For those who identify as a Daddy or a little, it has nothing to do with children. It often has very little to do with age or age play either.
So what is it all about?
Glad you asked.
This type of Dominant focuses more on the nurturing and caring aspect of dominance…A gentler form of domination if you will. Yes, there are rules in place, and there are consequences for breaking those rules.
Ultimately, no matter how bratty or sassy a little may become, Daddy/Mommy is in charge. And while I am unable to speak directly on the dynamic between a Mommy Domme and their little, a Daddy Dom and a little dynamic can be more playful than other D/s pairings to the point that some Daddies are seen often as silly, goofy, and childlike as their partners. (Hell, just last week, my little Dahlia and I were in the car, giggling like a couple of adolescent children because a commercial came on advertising “Creamy Nut Butter”)However, they maintain control, set rules, and typically, keep a little on their toes.
Littles are a complicated bunch. Some people will identify with very specific ages from as young as those in diapers through high school. Others may connect with multiple ages younger than their biological age…While still others are like Dahlia do not identify with any specific age. Her little side is a playful, younger, more vulnerable version of the woman that she presents to the public. If you only pay attention to stereotypes, littles are bratty, love glitter, and obsess over Hello Kitty. Take a look around. You will find some who fit that description and many more who do not.
The thing about these labels is that they do not really matter. I know many a Dominant who approaches D/s in a very nurturing, caring way but does not want to be called “Daddy.” I know because at one time, I was one of them? I know even more submissives with a giggly, silly, pink-loving side who are confused by those who do identify very clearly as a “little.”
That is why I like BDSM. You can take the parts that make sense to you and your partner, fit them into your unique dynamic, and leave the rest behind. The same applies here.
Okay, let us clear the air.
Age play as a kink is role playing. Both partners take on specific roles, one of which is someone of a younger age, to fulfill a sexual fantasy. Age players in a relationship identify either as the older nurturer who leads, guides, and teaches (Daddies and Mommies), or the younger, more childlike partner who is given the freedom to relinquish certain responsibilities (littles). Neither the kink or the relationship are about wanting to have sex with children. Read that again.
This is NOT about pedophilia.
You can be into age play as a kink and not want the full relationship. Of course, you can want the relationship and not want the age play. (My little girl and I are firmly in that category.) Some people believe you can be a Daddy or a little and not consider yourself a Dominant or a submissive. Depending on the relationship you have, I disagree. If it is just about calling your partner Daddy and coloring (or whatever little activity you prefer) or on the other side, being indulgent and nurturing with your little but having no rules, then no, there is probably very little BDSM involved.
However, if the Daddy is in charge and makes rules and the little is supposed to abide by those rules, you, my friend, are in a version of a D/s relationship. It might be D/s-light, but you have got a Dominant (Daddy) and a submissive (little) and rules (discipline).
