Under the Umbrella
Last week we discussed sadism, along with some of the responsibilities and safety precautions. When it comes to a sadist’s wants and needs in a dynamic, they usually pair well with the other side of that coin, a masochist. Today we’ll be having a look at masochism including some things that a masochist should be aware of during engagement.
Masochism is finding pleasure in pain and there are several ways this can manifest, as well as numerous reasons. Some masochists may enjoy a certain type of pain like stinging, thuds, or even mental pain such as humiliation. Some others may not feel the pain at all, so much as a pleasurable sensation. Many of the things that a masochist should be aware of run parallel to what a sadist should be considering, such as : safety, consent, PRICK/RACK, and aftercare. There are some other things involved for the masochist in particular that need to be considered:
– Know and Communicate Your Limits
– Self-Awareness and Wellness
– The Difference Between Play and Abuse
– Communicating Expectations
– Ensuring Your Safety
These are all very important aspects to be aware of when indulging in masochism, and help to ensure a fun and safe experience. It’s very easy to get carried away and lose focus of some of these during play, so it’s always important to go over these things with your partner frequently just in case something changes. So let’s have a closer look:
Know and Communicate Your Limits – This is something that can take some time during discovery, but you need to be aware of your physical, mental, and emotional limitations. We all have our limitations and shouldn’t push those limits unless done with awareness, care, and most importantly enthusiasm. You also need to clearly communicate those limits with your partner, and be certain that they understand those limits.
Self-Awareness and Wellness – Just like being aware that you have limits, you also need to be aware of your current physical state as well as your state of mind. This can affect what your limits are if there is something wrong or even a little off. This is why it’s important to be sure that you are mentally emotionally and physically healthy before engaging in masochistic behaviors, and address any issues that may be present or potentially arise. It’s good to discuss these things with your partner both before and after any scene/play.
The Difference Between Play and Abuse – This one is extremely important, and many folx who are new to the lifestyle or even occasional play frequently don’t know the difference. Enthusiastic consent should be present without any form of coercion, and coercion is among the largest issue where the line is crossed into abuse. Any form of coercion or manipulation most often leads to an abusive situation, often starting as mental abuse and moving into physical abuse. This is a topic we will visit here very often in the future.
Communicating Expectations – Another important point to discuss is communicating your expectations from play or a dynamic, and these can often change depending on the type of play or scene. Many masochists have a preferred type of pain and it’s important to discuss what you want and what you need, much like a submissive should. The same goes for your partner expressing their expectations, because this will tell you if you will be a good fit during play. If your needs can’t be met for whatever reason, it may be a reason to reconsider play with that partner.
Ensuring Your Safety – One of the most important things is to ensure your safety, and this involves several things including:
– Everything discussed above.
– Knowing your partner and developing a bond of trust.
– Being sure that proper precautions are taken.
– Establishing a ‘way out’ such as safe words or signals.
– Making sure that any aftercare or possible medical attention is available.
This is just a brief summary of some key points to keep in mind, but measures should be taken to ensure your own safety. Your partner may not always be aware of what’s going on, and there is always potential for the unexpected. It’s best to be prepared, not matter what the circumstances are.
Masochism is often the other half of sadism, and they function well together in BDSM dynamics but involve a measure of care before, during, and after play. Before we wrap it up, it’s worth mentioning that not all masochists are submissive. Some Dominants can enjoy pain as well, but this is more common in kink dynamics that can also function in similar ways to traditional BDSM dynamics.
We’ll be having a look at that in a few weeks, but until then we’ll be having a look at polyamory dynamics. These dynamics function outside of BDSM for the most part, but they are also part of the kink community as a whole and also fall under the umbrella. This will close out the general breakdown of BDSM with more on this in the near future, so have a great week, have fun and play safe, folx.
