Under the Umbrella
The last several weeks we’ve been discussing the key point to the acronym BDSM, and some of the major points involved within those dynamics. We will be discussing more on that as we move forward, but we’ll be switching gears this week discussing another umbrella term within the community, Polyamory.
Polyamory (poly) is a term meaning to share love for more than one person, but there’s a lot more to it when referring to poly based dynamics. These dynamics involve partners who are involved with more than one partner, but you’ll find that these other relationships don’t always involve love or sex, and can be derived from other needs. This week we’ll be discussing some of the basics surrounding poly dynamics, including:
– Common Terms
– Different Types of Poly Dynamics
– Parallel
– Kitchen Table Poly (KTP)
– Garden Party Poly (GPP)
– Households
– Fullfilling Needs
These are just a handful of topics involved with poly that will serve as an introduction for those who are new to the idea, and may even hold some new information for others in the community. So let’s have a look at what we have here:
Common Terms – When it comes to poly dynamics, there are numerous terms that help folx in the community identify within a poly structure. These are required because they can go from involving as little as 3 people, to several couples forming a ‘polycule’. The term polycule is used to describe these structures that can often resemble a molecule if you mapped it out. Some of the other common terms are:
– Primary Partner: As the name suggests, it’s the partner you consider your primary interest in the dynamic.
– Hinge Partner: The hinge is a person with two partners who typically don’t have much involvement or impact with each other, on being a primary and the other serving a different purpose.
– Metamour: This is the partner of your partner.
– Telemour: Out of all the terms, this won’t be used much in discussion as it refers to the partner of your metamour who isn’t involved in the relationship.
As you can already see, things can get complex in larger dynamics.
Different Types of Poly Dynamics – There are many different types of poly dynamics, and we’re going to continue with a brief description of the most common:
– Parallel: Parallel poly usually involves having multiple partners who have little or no contact with each other.
– Kitchen Table Poly (KTP): KTP is a form of poly where the metamours have contact with each other and are even friendly, like everyone being comfortable sitting at a table and having conversation.
– Garden Party Poly (GPP): GPP is a sort of middle ground between the first two described, and involves folx who don’t frequently interact with each other, but they’re comfortable meeting at parties and events.
– Households: This is how we’ll be referring to poly dynamics that run more along the lines of BDSM, and are often structured around discipline. They tend to maintain a solid hierarchy among members of the household, and to be included a space must often be vacated.
Fulfilling Needs – This is something we’ll be bringing up quite often, as it is potentially one of the healthiest aspects of a poly dynamic. This refers to a desire to see that the needs of your partner, even if you may not be able to fulfill those needs yourself. A good example is if one partner needs BDSM to be a part of the relationship, but their partner just isn’t into it. Rather than put themselves in an uncomfortable position, they agree that a play partner can fulfill those needs, and this doesn’t always mean sex. More on that another time.
Again, these are just some of the basics to help familiarize you folx of what poly dynamic might look like, and we’ll be diving into greater depths in the coming weeks. We’ll be continuing on with a more detailed look at parallel dynamics next week, before we get to the more complicated polycules. I hope this information helps shed some light on poly dynamics, and we have a lot more to come. Have a great week, have fun and play safe, folx.
