Under the Umbrella
Last week we discussed Domination, as well as some key points that Dominants should be aware of to maintain a healthy dynamic. A large portion of that involved certain responsibilities that fall on the Dominant, but they are only part of the dynamic. This week we’re going to have a look at the other side of the slash and discuss submission, which includes a general breakdown of things a submissive should be aware of.
For the most part a submissive can let go and get away from the stress of the rest of the world, under the control and guidance of a trusted Dominant. This doesn’t mean that they have no responsibilities, or that they can rely on a Dominant for everything. This is part of what we’re going to discuss today with another general breakdown involving:
– Self-awareness
– Service
– Obedience
– Respect vs Disrespect
– Identity
– Safety
As usual we’ll be doing a general breakdown of these topics, because there’s a lot of ground to cover and we’ll be covering it here in the future. As a Dominant myself, I had the help of some submissives and switches to get a better perspective, so let’s dig in!
Self-awareness – This is a very broad topic, but much of the insight i gathered was focused around this topic. One of the largest responsibilities a sub has to themself and the dynamic, is knowledge of self. A sub needs to know what their boundaries and limitations are and communicate them clearly, which includes knowing the difference between their wants vs needs. These are all crucial to understanding what you can and can’t consent to, and a responsible Dominant can help guide you through this process. The only way to achieve all of these things is through self-exploration, and moreover being honest with yourself.
Service – A large part of submission to a Dominant involves service in many different forms, and the Dominant should make the submissive aware of how best to serve them. These services can vary and aren’t always sexual in nature, including certain rituals, or duties, that ensure the dynamic functions properly. These of course must be discussed and consented to.
Obedience – Another key part to submission is obedience, which includes providing services that were agreed upon and consented to. This also includes following the Dominant’s instructions/orders, and performing in a manner that reflects well on their Dominant. Obedience also requires discipline on occasion, which includes punishments to ensure any disobedience is corrected, which should also be within the consent agreement.
Respect vs Disrespect – One of the most important things for a submissive to take into account, is the line between respect and disrespect. In most traditional BDSM dynamics this line is very clear, but in more recent types of dynamics the line can blur a bit. A great example would be brat based dynamics which involve more of a power struggle than a power exchange, and we’ll be discussing that a lot further down the line. A brief example would be a brat’s disobedience (which is contrary to the last point), where they may not always obey but never go so far as to be disrespectful.
Identity – This point is all about what type of submissive someone may be, and there are numerous types. This doesn’t mean that a submissive might not display tendencies of several of these identities, but most will commonly relate to one in particular. This topic is very broad with ever growing ways that subs will identify but to keep it generalized for discussion, there are very clear differences between someone who identifies as a sub and someone who identifies as a slave. Most submissives retain their voice at all times, with the ability to either give or remove consent at any given time. Slaves on the other hand often enter into ‘blanket consent’ contracts which gives their Dominant full control over them and every aspect of their being, but these agreements aren’t to be taken lightly. They often involve years of work building trust and strengthening the dynamic, to know each other on a level that can surpass general intimacy.
Safety – I would say that this one goes above all for both sides of the slash, because we often find ourselves exploring potentially dangerous territory, and that’s all part of the fun! Point blank… BE SAFE! For subs this means knowing about your limitations, establishing safe words and signals, and being sure you get the aftercare you need. A sub also needs to carefully vet potential partners and be wary of those who are over eager or dismissive of their wants and needs. No matter what the agreement, a submissive should ALWAYS have a way out! This is important to take into consideration even in a long term trusted dynamic, beacause anything can happen at any time. Even if the Dominant is confident in their ability to read their submissive, nobody is perfect and all it takes is one misinterpretation. Please be safe.
Like the previous subjects discussed, we’re just brushing the surface of what BDSM, poly, and kink are all about. We’re getting into the thick of things now, and we’ll be having a look at sadism and masochism in the next couple weeks. Following that we’ll be taking a look at different poly dynamics, then diving down the rabbit-hole that is kink in general.
I hope you’re enjoying the content thus far, as we journey to help you along your journey to understand what’s under the umbrella. Have a great week, have fun and play safe, folx.
