He did that thing she loved! she was in the shower, singing loudly, off key like a MF. she caught herself and laughed. Girl, that was a week ago! Regroup! she smiled as she remembered how He was prepared to pamper her, but she asked to be left alone. He graciously obliged her, but brought her the Pink bag just in case. she was good; she survived. Here she is now, a week later, chilling. she finished her shower, dried off and got dressed. He was going to call in a few minutes. she got positioned in the middle of the bed, propped up her tablet, and waited. she was so excited. she missed Him SO MUCH. But, she JUST talked to Him this morning. she felt…anxious. This SUCKS. At that moment, the call came through. As she sat there, looking at Him, she ached for Him. she didn’t even hear Him over the loud sound in her head. This…heaviness…enveloped her. And then…she heard Him. “BREATHE, baby.” she felt chills. her face was warm with tears streaming down her cheeks. Why was her throat raw? she realized she had been sobbing…LOUDLY. The snotty ugly crying. In a calm, soothing voice, He said, “Get your blue bag. It’s on my side of the bed. Figured you might need it.” she looked over and wiped the tears from her eyes. her arms felt like they weighed a ton. she saw a blue blurry shape and realized it was her bag. she reached for it, clutched it, and slowly opened it. she could hear him, speaking calmly, reassuring her. “It’s okay, baby. It’ll be over soon. I got you.”
Heyyyy, Y/y’all! Since there are probably several of U/us that will engage in some type of action this weekend, this girl figured she would talk about Aftercare and Drop for a few minutes. Aftercare is an important part of recovery from BDSM Sessions for many people. It is common to experience a shift in emotions and energy following sessions. This ranges anywhere from within a few hours after to even days later. All too often it’s necessary for many of U/us to take care of O/ourselves after a session because, in this girl’s situation, The FLYGOD was just visiting. W/we must always be sure to guard against the emotional roller coaster that may occur as well as any other struggles. Having a bunch of items that help with comforting U/us afterwards is helpful. Only W/we know what those items may be. It’s often called an “Aftercare Kit.” It might contain snacks, blankets, stuffies, drinks, etc.
It is obvious that W/we will physically have marks, bruising, cuts, sore muscles, etc that need continued first aid. Even if W/we haven’t had any First Aid training, W/we should have some type of basic first aid items on hand that W/we can buy at almost any store. Knowing basic First Aid for bruises, cuts and abrasions is helpful so that W/we can care for skin and muscle tissues after intense sessions. There are many schools of thought on bruise care. Cool compresses will help cut down swelling. Treat cuts and abrasions with anti-bacterial and bandages. Scar reduction creams may also be helpful if W/we are concerned about marks lasting longer than W/we would like.
Okay, now let’s talk about Drop for a bit. Drop is when the endorphins W/we experience during sessions suddenly leave O/our bodies and it “crashes.” This has been described as a feeling similar to drug addiction withdrawals and recovery. When O/our bodies go through this, it is important to note that this experience is different for each of U/us. Things like crying and uncontrollable emotional outbursts to sadness, depression, rage and anxiety are possible. W/we might even experience moments of guilt or doubt about what W/we did and the fact that W/we liked it. Drop can manifest within hours or even days later. Another concern is the emotional and psychological impact W/we may have experienced during the session. This can creep up on U/us when W/we least expect it. To guard against it, drink water as needed. It helps when W/we do not play while hungry. The Snickers commercial is onto something…W/we aren’t O/ourselves when W/we are hungry, Y/y’all lol. Also, avoid sessions if even slightly sick if at all possible, which in some cases it isn’t. Drink something with simple sugars when done; orange juice works wonders. Remember…W/we are all different so it helps to know what works for U/us. That being said, W/we can still help each other.
Let’s incorporate the Pillars here, shall W/we?
*Communication. Ask questions! A lot of U/us ask questions about Aftercare during Vetting as well as during negotiation and planning of sessions. Check in constantly. Having someone available to help U/us is a wonderful thing.
*Trust. If W/we don’t trust T/them, W/we’re better off not having sessions with T/them. PERIOD. After all, depending on what W/we do, O/our lives literally depend on trusting each other to be safe.
*Respect. This is critical during Aftercare because if it isn’t part of the experience before, during and after, as well as through Drop, it will destroy any trust between U/us. Respect is even important in M/s dynamics.
*Honesty. Some of U/us, depending on the type of session, may not need Aftercare and may or may not still experience Drop. Some of U/us may need a LOT of Aftercare and this can help some of U/us to avoid Drop. Empaths are NOT Mind Readers so W/we MUST be up front and crystal clear about what we need. During check ins, if anything is uncomfortable, speak up. If Y/you aren’t the warm fuzzy type, say that. If Y/you get clingy AF, make it known. W/we could bs O/our way right into Drop. Then what? Trust destroyed AGAIN.
Bottom line…being prepared and aware is critical. So remember…if W/we want to provide the appropriate amount and style of Aftercare and manage/overcome Drop, W/we MUST Communicate clearly. W/we MUST Respect and Trust each other. And W/we MUST be Honest with each other. ALWAYS.
Enjoy, Y/y’all.
~ His Duchess
