“Let’s go, my toy soldier.” After sitting at the table in the back, watching everyone, it was time. The heat rushed to his face. His heart was pounding out of his chest. Searching Regina’s face for an indication of what he should be feeling, he was rewarded with a smile and a wink before being blindfolded. A firm squeeze of his hand was followed by being led across the spacious room. There were overlapping voices but he couldn’t make out what any of them were saying. What if they know who I am? Will my soldiers find out? Do they know Regina? Should I care? A strong tug on his chain stopped him. Regina gently massaged his shoulders and back. he recognized that this was to reassure and prepare him. Raising his arms as he had been taught to do, he heard the music get louder. The atmosphere was electric. Excitement replaced the fear coursing through his body. Let them watch, he told himself.
She looked around and smiled. Heat surged through her entire body as she paused to monitor then adjust her breathing. Look at him, she thought to herself. He’s GLORIOUS. She prepped his skin, kissed his cheek, turned to the crowd, winked, adjusted her stance, and embraced the moment. But she maintained control, especially of the tool in her hand. Surveying the faces in the crowd gave her a vibe she couldn’t describe. She saw anticipation, excitement, desire, awe in their eyes. Everything she was feeling. “Enjoy, y’all,” She said, grinning. “I know I will!” And with a wink, she wound up, then landed her first strike. “Snap!”
Heyyyy, y’all! Have you ever said or heard the phrase, “I don’t mind an audience” or “I like to watch” before? While everyone is familiar with some form of it, Exhibitionism and Voyeurism are often misunderstood.
A large percentage of U/us think Exhibitionism is about getting it on in an open public space as well as at work, bathrooms, movie theaters, etc. Most of U/us fantasize about it or may have even done it often. But there’s more to it. MUCH more. W/we enjoy commanding attention or just simply being seen and heard. Wearing something sexy to Walmart, getting dressed or undressed with the curtains open, touching O/ourselves in front of others to distract them from whatever they were doing, taking/posting sexy pictures/videos…all of these deliciously decadent or even other benign things will send electric surges through O/our bodies. So, hate to break it some of Y/y’all while confirming for others that yeah…Y/you have probably done some Exhibitionist type things, fam.
Voyeurs like to watch and even listen to others. If Y/you have shushed someone to watch or listen to an argument and enjoyed it, that is a form of Voyeurism. Each of U/us has different things that do it for U/us so there’s a lot more involved than just watching folks get it on. Most of U/us spend time intrigued with watching what other people are doing. Reality TV, TMZ, Baller Alert, Worldstar, TikToc, Social Media, etc…all of these indulge some form of O/our Voyeuristic urges and while some are vocal about being unable or unwilling to look away, others secretly enjoy the drama, sex and scandal. In the musical Hamilton, a character sings about “just wanting to be in the room when it happens” as history is being made. Well, Voyeurs are excited, sometimes even aroused by that. Watching as others experience pleasure or other emotions is GLORIOUS.
At this point, it’s important to remember that CONSENT and SAFETY IS CRITICAL, Y/y’all. Research the laws in Y/your area. This is also something that is an important part of Vetting; not just during passive conversation or small talk. When Exhibitionism and Voyeurism comes up, ASK QUESTIONS, LISTEN AND GET CLARIFICATION. Y/y’all know what comes next…the Pillars!
*COMMUNICATION with each other about Exhibitionism and Voyeurism helps U/us discover, understand and convey what W/we know, what W/we have done and/or want to experience, limits, etc. This is how Consent is clearly defined and achieved.
*RESPECT each other’s feelings, boundaries, knowledge or lack thereof. RESPECT the laws in your area as well.
*HONESTY matters because being crystal clear regarding how W/we feel about Exhibitionism and Voyeurism is critical. If it makes U/us uncomfortable, speak up then be prepared to explain why. If W/we LOVE IT, speak up then be prepared to explain why.
*TRUST is CRUCIAL because, especially with these two things, O/our actions often affect others as well as O/ourselves profoundly. W/we must TRUST those W/we choose to educate U/us, those W/we choose to indulge O/our desires with, and hell, while W/we’re at it…W/we must TRUST O/ourselves as well.
Thank Y/you for Y/your time.
~ His Duchess
