If you are new to BDSM, or impact play specifically, you might wonder what to do about your conspicuously hot post-play marks or “treasures” as some have referred to them as.
Kinksters have different strategies for dealing with bruises depending on what aligns best with their lifestyle. You have options…
The Boldest (and Riskiest) Choice: Own That Shit
If you are a proud kinkster with no absolutely zero fucks left to give, you may feel just fine leaving your happy little injuries uncovered in front of your god and everyone else.
There is an eroticism behind this mentality that a lot of people cannot conceive and I respect that. After all, why would anyone want to walk around sporting something so “ugly” or “disturbing?”
The fact is that for consenting playmates, marks signify cherished memories. A lot of masochists wear them in the way we would jewelry or tattoos. My current submissive, my former submissive as well as my play partners revealed to me that they marvel at the marks as they heal while thinking fondly back to the moments they were made.
This exhibitionistic option is obviously only open to the handful of people who are privileged enough to be “out” about their kinks, which many people are not due to personal or professional reasons. If the people in your life understand and accept your love for BDSM then, by all means, let your freak flag fly in their presence.
However…
If one wishes to participate as upstanding members of society, one must also consider the feelings of the non-kinksters. Bruises are signs of literal physical trauma and most people view them as such. Those who do not understand BDSM might see your marks and assume your partner is abusing you, which could be damaging or even dangerous for them. Furthermore, any children around you will also not understand and might get mixed signals about what bruises and other marks signify.
You also never know whose trauma you might trigger by being so open. Survivors of abuse may see your marks and be transported back to past memories of panic or anguish. While I do not personally live my life trying to tiptoe around other people’s emotional baggage, I have no interest in upsetting those I care about, either. Perhaps you feel the same, but either way, just keep in mind the risks this strategy entails before deciding to let it all hang out.
While I certainly would never judge you for it, others almost certainly will.
On the other hand, you may wish to enjoy your bruises in private, but keep them hidden while you are out and about. This is how most kinksters I know choose to handle their treasures.
Oftentimes, people will negotiate with their partner about which parts of your body are okay to mark up. A lot of BDSM practitioners confine impact play to the buttocks and upper thighs, as those well-padded areas are safest for hitting. Wherever you choose to leave marks, you will want to invest in clothing to cover them up. Scarves, long pants, and long-sleeve shirts may be desirable after a particularly rowdy night in the dungeon.
You may also want to keep playtime tame(ish) if you are planning to hit up the beach, get a massage, work a stripper shift, go to the doctor, or engage in any situations that might call for taking your clothes off. I once remember one instance where my then younger goddaughters confronted their mother (my submissive) about her bruises which led her to “admit to her clumsiness”.
You may wish to lessen the intensity or healing time of the marks you garner which is very understandable. In this case, you would want to go ahead and do the things “normal” people do when they get hurt or anticipate injuries…
*Applying ice to the area of impact directly after play
*Avoiding blood-thinning painkillers, such as aspirin
*Avoiding hot baths and showers for the first 48 hours after play
*Looking into homeopathic remedies like witch hazel, arnica, or parsley
Following the R.I.C.E procedure (rest, ice, compression, and elevation) as the bruise heals
And if this is not enough to suit your fancy, you may even want to avoid bruises altogether. Stick to lighter forms of impact play. Your partner can spank you with their hand, a soft flogger, or a wide faux-fur-lined paddle, as implements like these are less likely to bruise. Things like canes, whips and bath brushes are mean weapons that tend to leave a mark.
Whether you bruise will also obviously depends entirely on how hard your partner chooses to hit. Have them stay in hard massage territory rather than in doling out a serious beating, which can be just as erotic.
Now if you are the top and your partner is a masochist, keep in mind that there are plenty of body-friendly forms of torture that do not involve hitting. You can have them kneel on uncooked rice, sit naked on a opened bag of frozen peas, hold an uncomfortable position, chew on a ball of wasabi, or any other combination of twisted activities.
Use that Sadistic creativity.
