Under the Umbrella
Last week we had a look at submission, and the fact that just being submissive doesn’t remove responsibility for one’s own well-being. Awareness is an important thing for either side of the slash in any type of BDSM dynamic, and is going to weigh in heavily with this week’s topic: Sadism.
Sadism forms another common part of the acronym in the lifestyle, and refers to those who enjoy to inflict pain. This is most common with Dominants who have submissives who are masochists but not limited to this, depending on the dynamic. More topics we’ll address down the road, and next week we’ll be talking about masochists to conclude the basic rundown of the BDSM acronym.
So there’s a lot to consider when it comes to sadism, and much of it involves the physical, mental, and emotional state of everyone involved, which boils down to awareness of the situation. This is going to bring into play another couple of acronyms on safety, like the common SSC mentioned prior. This will all focus on safety, awareness, and responsibility, because when it comes to inflicting pain in this lifestyle, there are many things that can go wrong. Here are our focal point for today:
– Safety and Responsibility
– Establishing Consent and Limitations
– Preparation and Precautions
– PRICK and RACK
– Aftercare
– Embracing Your Sadism
– Selfcare and Guilt Assessment
There’s a lot to consider when we look at this and think about what these points actually mean. For experienced members of the community, the first few points are a given to maintain a healthy dynamic. The last few may even escape the attention of some seasoned members of thew community, and that’s part of what we’re doing here today. Let’s dive in.
Safety and Responsibility – The first and foremost thing for any sadist to consider is safety, to be sure that their submissive is safe regardless of the extremeties of pain being inflicted. The next key point to consider is responsibility, and this includes being responsible for creating a safe environment to engage in play as well as taking responsibility if things go too far.
Establishing Consent and Limitations – It’s also very important to communicate prior to play about consent and limitations, particularly dealing with anything that could possibly cause physical injury, emotional distress, or mental trauma. This means a detailed discussion that may include histories of past traumas, and knowing what is not acceptable during play.
Preparations and Precations – When you intend to engage in any sadistic behavior, it’s extremely important to prepare first. Know your tools, know the limitations of your sub, and have a plan in place if things go wrong. This leads to precautions, where you should have first aid on hand if it should be needed, water, blankets, comfort items, and an emergency contact. This one goes for both sides of the slash, in case someone is too caught up in a frenzy to think about proper precautions.
PRICK and RACK – Now I’ve mentioned SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), and these two would be the evolution of that concept. RACK would have followed SSC, and stands for Risk Awareness Consensual Kink. This implies that all involved parties should be aware of the risks involved before consent. The evolotion further goes unto PRICK, which stands for Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink. This one takes it a step further, and focuses on folx taking responsibility for their knowledge and communication prior to the arrangement.
Aftercare – This is a topic you’ll see almost as much as communication and consent, but it’s really important here. Many scenes that involve sadistic practices can be de-humanizing, brutal, and derogatory to a submissive, so aftercare is most often an essential focus. The form it takes can vary from needing attention to needing time alone, but it needs to be addressed and includes any possible medical attention.
Embracing Your Sadism – The way society looks at this is like many aspects of our lifestyle, and they simply don’t understand it. As a sadist myself, I have felt judgemental eyes on me based on how I handle a situation. This even happens with partners in public, though I’m mindful on how I deal with things under watchful eyes. For other sadists, this doesn’t change who we are or our place in this community. Embrace who you are unapologetically, but be mindful of your submissive and your surroundings.
Selfcare and Guilt Assessment – This is relative to the previous bullet point, in the fact that we can sometimes feel guilt for the pain we inflict. This is also something that needs to be addressed, and we have to accept the fact that sometimes we’ll need to take a moment to reflect. This may even require that we take a moment to check in with our sub, and be sure that everything is ok. This avoids potential Domdrop, which is another can of worms we’ll open up at a later date.
To wrap this all up, sadism is a very common practice in the lifestyle, but it also requires a great deal of awareness. It includes being sure that your partner is willing to accomodate and especially enjoy as a masochist, and that you’re not coercing someone to suit your needs.
Next week we’ll be having a look at masochists and the role they play, which will conclude our general look at the BDSM acronym. hope you have a great week, have fun and play safe, folx!
