Your First BDSM Scene
Most partners engaging in BDSM for the first time do have challenges trying to plan on how they want the whole session to go. Indeed, planning such scenes can be quite personal, however, the guidelines below to help you plan better. -Create your goals You will have to decide on your expectations and the roles…
Matthias Black
Treasures
If you are new to BDSM, or impact play specifically, you might wonder what to do about your conspicuously hot post-play marks or “treasures” as some have referred to them as. Kinksters have different strategies for dealing with bruises depending on what aligns best with their lifestyle. You have options… The Boldest (and Riskiest) Choice:…
Releasing the Inner Animal
*cue tribal drums* All of us have it…An aggressive inner force, an animalistic energy that we encounter occasionally, usually in times of extreme emotional or physical duress. Sometimes it comes to our aid, allowing the proverbial 100lb mother to lift a car off her injured child situation. Sometimes it lashes out at random, injuring or killing…
Drugs, Alcohol and the Scene
Disclaimer: Just a reminder that these opinions are mine and mine alone based on what I have personally witnessed or heard throughout my journey that I want to share with you. Just as we all know that we should not drink/do drugs and operate a motor vehicle plenty of people among us still do. Often…
Handling Arguments
I think one reason that the answer did not come to me straight away is that Dahlia and I do not argue on a regular basis. I would have to say we have one or two major disagreements a year that would be considered a relationship argument. For the sake of comparison, my ex and I…
Respectful Voyeurism
As I am writing this article, I am sitting in the chair of a hotel room, while two women (One semi-nude, one completely nude) are lying in bed together. The sounds next to me indicate that someone is enjoying a good morning finger-fuck at the moment. Low whispers, grateful moans, faint sounds of moisture…You get…
Basic Rope Bondage Safety
Hey Matthias, why even consider bondage safety? Bondage plays the same role in sex as extreme sports do in athletics. Both go beyond the mainstream, pushing limits past the comfort level of the general populace. Both thrive on the adrenaline rush of feeling at risk and the lure of acting unconventional. And both are viewed as just a…
Gender Identity Terms
Disclaimer: Be mindful that this guide is not exhaustive, and is both Western and United States-centric. Other cultures may use different labels and have other conceptions of gender. Gender is often defined as a social construct of norms, behaviors and roles that varies between societies and over time. Gender is often categorized as male, female…
Words of Advice For the Brand New Dominant…In No Particular Order.
1)As I have said time and time again, beating somebody does not make you a Dominant. Let’s face it, anybody can be taught how to use a cane, ridingcrop, flogger, restraints, etc. Just because you have become adept atkicking somebody’s ass is not the mark of a Dominant. At worst, you are anabuser and should…
Thoughts Regarding Service
Service is an important part of most D/s and M/s relationships. The term “service” can be applied to both sides of these relationships, but this discussion will be limited to the more obvious service rendered by the bottom, submissive or slave. Disclaimer: I will also be using the terms Master and slave as well as…