Greetings to all you wonderful readers out there. Today I hope to inspire the mind by continuing on Positioning of a slave/sub. We have already experienced the commands of kneeling and in service. Last week we spoke about the How-to’s of s-type positioning when one is incapable due to illness, disability, or age and how to keep it beautiful. A lot of us are entering that period and there is a negative mindset that we get during this time. My hopes is that the article helped get over some of that “bad bondage” mindset.

Today, due to popular demand, I will be addressing positioning of correction and discipline. But first, I’ll introduce you to 3 positions a s-type can take in order to ask for forgiveness, or when they have messed up and need to admit to their transgressions. These are powerful positions. These positions are to be used to Admit to a wrongdoing, beg for forgiveness, and accept the punishment and correction and re-learn a discipline.

But before introduction to these 3 positions, I want to discuss the mindset a s-type has when they have to admit to a failure or wrongdoing. For some of them, to admit to failing is easy. Admit to it, ask for clarification, apologize, take the punishment, and move on. No worse for wear. Lesson learned, off to better and grander things. But also, alas, for some s-types, to admit that they failed their Owner/ D-type, or even to make themselves admit to something maybe they intentionally did but now have to come clean about, is very hard and darn near impossible. No one likes to “D word” the one in charge. That D word is so strong, I decline to write it out in its entirety for I have seen people triggered when presented with that word. That word is not to be used lightly as it can harm in a way that cannot be returned from. So, this is why positions to admit errors are important. They allow the s-type to take position without having to come up with the words yet. The position speaks to the D-type, and informs them something important has taken place without the s-type saying a single word. This starts the communication. This is the point of no return. Conversation has to happen now. Be brave, we will get through this together.

So when words come hard, but the urge, desire, need to speak up about our accident, this is what the positions of forgiveness are for. So let us view them shall we?

Karta or First Obeisance: A simple position of slave obeisance.

Kneeling, the palms of your hands on the ground, then your head to the ground, bending forwards. This is not a Gorean position, but has been a common position of obedience for centuries. This position shows total and absolute giving over of ones self.
In this position, the s-type begins in the kneeling position (Nadu or Tower). They then lower their head to the floor and place the palms of the hands on the floor at the sides of their head. They can then, if permitted, raise their head slightly and move a bit forward, maintaining the position in order to lick and kiss the feet of their Master or D-type, doing it softly, lingeringly and lovingly.

Second Obeisance

This position is also sometimes referred as “belly” because in fact the slave lies on their belly. It can be considered as a continuation of the 1st Obeisance Position, from which the s-type extends themselves lying on the floor with their legs spread and the hands at the sides of their head. After reaching this position, the slave may (if their Master wishes/allows) “crawl on their belly” to the feet of the Master in order to kiss and lick them.

The differences being, one is crawling on hands and knees while the other is literally crawling on ones belly. Both are acceptable.

One alternative belly position (but not to be confused with 2nd Obeisance Position) is for the s-type to lie on their stomach with their hands at their sides and the palms of their hands facing upwards; their head is often turned to the left and/or legs spread.
The command “bara” is similar but only in the fact that the s-type lies on the floor, because it differs totally in the positioning of the hands and legs.

There is a fourth position that I have come across. Once, long ago, my House boy came to me after he messed up. He walked towards me, head lowered then dropped down to all fours facing with me his head down. He then spoke to me through his tears telling me what had happened and how he had failed me in the task he was given. This is called ” to table” not to be confused with a table command , which is entirely different and for entirely different reasons. Mostly to eat and drink off of, or to rest ones feet upon.

This was his way of what was important to him to share with me. His way of asking, err begging for forgiveness.

What we do is way more important than what we say. Our actions show and share so much more than any words could. Use these positions the next time you want to show your obesiance to your D-type. Take the position. Beg for forgiveness. Learn from your mistakes , and then move on from this error. There is much more to life then that of dwelling on something that has already been forgiven.

Remember, once the correction or punishment is given, it’s washed down the river. It shall not be brought up again unless a habit forms of this same mistake. Then, it is up to the D-type to figure out the best way to have you no longer fail, but to succeed. After all, I would rather live with a happy, bouncy, joyous slave, than a depressed sad one.

I wish you the best on your journey and My hopes are that you learn a little, take a little, leave a little and apply what you learned to your own dynamic.

Best of luck on your paths.

Loved you even before I knew you.

Yours in Leather, (YIL)

Castar Daemon

Part Four of our Ten part series will be the “Love and Fun” positions. Look for this next article in the upcoming week.

The post In Position Part 3: Admittance of Error/Coming Clean appeared first on Free the Kink.

To begin, let us first take a look at the most important avenue to slave positioning… The Mindset.  

Too often, we as humans, think about what we should be doing, what it should look like to others, what our own limitations are and how due to being prideful, not accepting of them. These are all natural ways we deal with the advancing of age. Society has created the importance of “The Look”, and we are ever chasing such. I think it’s because we believe if we ever reach it, there is some sort of reward or nirvana at the end of this.. Guess what? There isnt.
Mind blown right? But, How can I say this? I say it because it’s truth. The truth doesn’t need anything more than just being. The truth can stand alone. The truth cannot be washed or wished away. The truth is as strong as steel and Mordor cannot destroy it like a simple ring.  Ahh yes, I am a bit of a nerd.. but I digress..

Let us continue on point. The biggest question I have ever gotten about this topic is, ” What do I do when I can no longer kneel?”  Kneeling is a very big way to show submission, obeisance, reverence to ones Master or Owner. Perhaps the biggest; well that’s socially acceptable anyways. So, here are a few things that I’ve come across, or come up with to help with this conundrum.

1. Kneeling benches- The kneeling bench is padded, soft on the knees and takes roughly 75% of all pressure and pain out of ones legs, and puts it on the bench that one is sitting on. This is a great piece of furniture that should be in everyone’s repertoire and arsenal for use. The kneeling bench is lightweight and comes in many different adjustable heights. I highly recommend this for people of any age. Wearing flowing silks even covers the bench from view , so it appears the slave is kneeling unassisted. Also covering the bench with a light fur or blanket, will hide its existence. Magic of slaves.. who knew?
2. Footstool or Ottoman- Can sit upon either, as then the slave is still sitting “below” the Master or Owner to show reverence and their submission. The rule of thumb is, as long as the one serving is a heads height below the one being served, the service is acceptable. For those people that think differently? I’d challenge your argument, as a slaves place is beneath her Master. In all ways. If the slave wants differently? Perhaps a more productive introspection is needed.
3. Sitting “criss cross applesauce” or the “Gorean Freeperson seat”- Sitting on ground, or furs, or silks, or pillows with legs crossed, as most of us probably did as a child, is a great way to still be in a position of service. Also, this is a great position to look up at your Master with those eagerly begging slave eyes…  . .. give me a minute; how I love those eyes…
   Let’s continue!
4. A normal sized bar stool- Yes, even this position, sitting on a stool, is an acceptable form of service positioning. The slave’s head is still below their Masters.. all is good… (I apologize to the very vertically challenged Masters.. You matter also!)

So, as you can see, all are acceptable ways to still be in service. Also, most of those positions still allow the slave to wrap themselves around the Master’s legs.. which we all love.
I know how much that position does and means to a slave and Master.  We don’t want to miss out on this.. ever.

In conclusion, I’ll say this. No matter what age, disability, handicap, injury we may or may not have, we can always find ways to offer service to the ones we love. We just need to think “outside the cage”, and come up with ways to still show ones dedication to another. I’m sure, if we all dropped what our ego thinks is right, and do what our heart tells us to do, we will find a balance of beauty in individual and as a couple. Try it out. Think with the heart. I promise you, everything will be as right as rain.

“Loved you before I even knew you.”

Yil,
Castar Daemon
Caste of Slavers

The post In Position Part 2: Disabilities in Service appeared first on Free the Kink.

One of the many things those of us that are into Power Exchange relationships, or as I like to call it, Authority Exchange Dynamics, is the beauty of ones service to their Dominant. Service comes in many shapes and sizes, but regardless of the service type, most submissives that I know, do it out of love, and show their service from their heart. Now, does this mean there are exchanges that do not involve the heart? Yes, actually, it does. There are many ways to be in service without loving your Dominant, and many ways to accept service without loving your submissive. But, today, we are going to discuss a few things that transcends all forms of service; something that we all enjoy seeing, watching and smiling at… “The Positions of Service. “

There are many different avenues that teach many different positions of the submissive. One example is the Leather slave positions. Another is the Gorean slave positions. Yet another, is the common submissive positions. I’m sure there are many others from different countries that even have more, or adjusted positions for their Houses or families. To each their own. There is no right or wrong way to hold these positions. The importance lies with the Dominant as to whether he/she/they finds joy in the positioning of their charge or not. Ultimately, at the end of the day, when the candles burn low, this is all about beauty and pleasure. Whatever is deemed beautiful, pleasurable, and desirable is what’s important. With that said however, there are certain positions that mean certain things IF one is to go into a party with like-minded people. There are universal positions that speak to people that are able to hear and see them. Today we are going to discuss 2 different positions that will be required of the Gorean slave if they are ever at a Gorean’s House or event. These positions tell everyone in the room exactly what you are and where in the night you may be. The first position, the most common, is named “Tower”.

Tower- In wait for service

The slave kneels, only things are kept modestly together, palms are down on their thighs. Chest out, shoulders back, back straight, head and eyes down. Hair, if braided should be worn on the right side. Slaves are not available for use in service when in this position. One always kneels before a Freewoman (a non s type woman), in Tower unless told to do so otherwise. We do this to show respect, as a Freewoman may or may not wish to see the “treasure” between ones thighs.

Nadu- Also called the Position of the Pleasure slave

slaves seeing their Master snap their fingers, point to a place, turn their hand and spread index and second finger pointing down, have been commanded to Nadu and should move to the place pointed to.

This is another beginning position. A slave will also spend most of their time in this position.

Kneeling, head held high, eyes lowered, knees spread wide open, shoulder kept back, keeping the back straight, chest thrust outward. Hands lie on the thighs, fingers together, palms facing upwards, slightly cupped.

Sometimes per Master’s choice, hands are crossed behind the back.

The hands are faced upward to show a silent way of expressing need, helplessness and a desire to please. It is a silent signal of a slave’s desire for their Master.

Every aspect of this position means something. Do not overlook the importance of knowing the “Whys” of each aspect. We can tell whether you understand the meaning behind the position, or if you are just putting on a veneer. Trust us Old Masters. We always know.

So, as you can see , in just two positions, there is much we can learn. To quiet the slave or submissive’s mind and allow the position to wash over them, to beat in their heart. The pride of the Master or Dominant in seeing their charge in their beauty artistry of these positions. The pride in the submissive or slave to know they have been found pleasing to the ones that mean the most to them.

If you would like, I give you Homework to practice these two positions. Practice at home in front of a mirror. Practice at home in front of your Dominant. Practice over a webcam to your LDR Dom. Whichever works best for you. Try to figure out the whys when you see yourself. Think about it. Learn your body. Discover, discover, discover!

I wish for you the best of luck, love, happiness, and wholeness in your path, and always remember to Quiet the Mind, and you shall feel your being. Use your being to discover yourself.

I loved you before I even knew you.

Yil,

Castar Daemon
Caste of Slavers

Part two shall be , “What do we do when we are older, or have a disability and cannot physically do these positions?” Don’t you fret. I have the answers you are seeking.

The post In Position Part 1: In Service appeared first on Free the Kink.

Quick question. What have you learned that has helped your life in the BDSM community? What have you learned that, once shared has helped others? Interesting thoughts that we seldom take the time to examine, but are worth their weight in gold. 

A Brother of mine, in spirit and honor once said, “If someone stands behind you, protect them. If someone stands next to you, respect them.” Let’s associate that on an intellectual level , shall we? 

There are many different styles of learning. There are many different styles of teaching. There are many different styles of education. We all know this; at least we should. Sometimes I wonder about the education system. But I digress. To reference the above quote, we see that there will be people with less experience than us and there will be people with similar experience as us. We are to protect the lesser experienced, while respecting the similar experienced. But what of the Elders with vastly more experience? What are we to do with them? 

We Honor them. Our elders have forged the ways for most of us to do what it is we are doing without great fear of being arrested or harassed. They have been in the marches; they have bled for what they stand for. 
We learn from them. As we protect the ones after us, they will do the same. It is our job and mission to learn what they have went through to get us to where we are today. It is ours to take their shared education, add it to our own, and continue forging the fires of our ways.. the ways of many, past, present and future. 

One of the greatest sayings I have ever heard was , ” Each one, Teach One.”  Four words, so powerful in their meaning. What do you think that means to you? In my not so humble opinion, It means that everyone has something that they can teach. Everyone can learn something from one another. The information may be gold, or it may be coal: either way, this is a splendid way to learn. Learn from the positives. Learn from the negatives. Turn everything into a learning experience. That’s my belief anyways. YMMV. If you come across bad information, take the meat of it and spit out the bones. Don’t be afraid to challenge the information. It is through asking questions, that we learn. I hope I never stop learning. 

Once time, long ago, I asked an attendee of one of my classes that, If they had a choice of two classes, would they want to be the smartest person in the room, or the least experienced person in the room? I believe thats a good question. He said, he wanted to be the smartest person in the room. I asked him what were his reasonings? He enlightened me in that he didn’t want to be looked down upon for being the “weakest”. His words. not mine. I found it interesting that he viewed inexperience as weak. I also found it of interest that he based his decision on fear, and being afraid, or uncomfortable. Absolutely not a great way to make a decision, but I understood his reasonings.

If someone was to ask me that question? I’d want to be the least experienced person in the room. This way I have vast knowledge to learn; and the understanding to learn it. There will be people in the room viewing me as “basic” or ” dumb” but there will also be many others who will reach out to teach me. The haters can continue to hate. I care not of their critiques or invalidation. Their words mean nothing to me. Each one, Teach one. 
Now, what does this have to do with The BDSM and kink communities you ask? EVERYTHING! In the 80s , we lost an entire generation of educators due to what is still called , “The Plague”. We have been playing catch up ever since. However, now with the invention of the internet, and how many of millions of people have access to it, the information that works for you is out there. But, and this is the Daddy in me, be forewarned. Not all of it is good information, and quite a bit is dangerous, since safety protocols are not used in many of the examples you might find.  This is of course your own personal decision with your risk assessment, if you try to “attempt this at home.” Please, just be careful. 

A great and powerful way to learn, and keep learning is to get yourself mentors. We are out here. We may be a bit gruff , but our hearts are in the right place. Mentorship is very important in ones journey. Don’t be afraid to reach out for Mentorship. Mentorship can be for one specific kink, or a lifetime of understanding. Whatever you’re interested in, should be negotiated and discussed. Much like scening. See how important communication is? It is in everything!

For whatever you are interested in learning, learn from as many different avenues of thought as you can. People, Mentors, Internet, Youtube, Books, Conventions, the list goes on. The more well rounded one is about their area of interest, the better and stronger that person becomes in their field. Learn everywhere!”

I do wish you all the absolute best in your journeys. Please reach out to any of us at Free the Kink . We are here for you. To take the quote from earlier, we are here. “Each one, Teach Thousands.” Lesson Learned. 

Castar Daemon

Freelance Writer for Free The Kink

The post Lesson Learned appeared first on Free the Kink.

There seems to be a misunderstanding of the littles, middles, princesses, princes, young royals, and even liddles. Some say they are part of the bdsm community; some say they are not. Some view them as the cute and snuggly; some view their dynamic as borderline pedophilia. Haters gonna hate, amirite?

Did you know that not all littles are submissive? Mind blown! Yes, there are Dominant littles. Below, I have given examples and definitions of some of the terms one may find themselves coming across when in or adjacent to this lifestyle. These terms are not all inclusive, as each person can define themselves as they wish. These are just generalized definitions to get a better understanding.

Little- a person of any gender that exhibits child like behavior, specifically around age 2 to 7. They can either get into, “little space” or they could always be a little, and get into “big space” to do things like go to work, pay bills, etc, living the rest of the time as a little.

Liddle- a term to describe a little thats just a bit older. Age 8 to about 11. They enjoy more age appropriate activities to that age group.

Middle- Pre-teen to about 16. They are the ones whom live a life with all the ups and downs of teen “angst”. This is where the majority of bratty behavior is displayed. Ahh, cellphones, tiktok dances, moodswings, sassy backtalk… and no, not all middles are that way. Some are gearing up for adulthood and learning responsibility.

Brats. Id be doing a disservice if I didn’t mention Brats. Brats are just that. Brats. A brat is in an authority exchange dynamic with a caregiver of some type. Which one is in charge? Ill allow you, the reader to determine that for yourself.

Princes – young boys who are treated as royalty

Princesses – young girls who are treated as royalty

Young Royals – the gender neutral term for the above definitions to be radically inclusive.

Caregiver- the adult standing side of the dynamic. Goes by many terms. Daddy, Mommy, Auntie, King, Advisor, the list goes on. But I digress. We are speaking of the littles side of things here.

For the examples, I will use the gender neutral term of young royals. I wish everyone to be included.

Examples of possible Dynamics
This list is not all inclusive of every style of dynamic. These are just generalized definitions for a better beginning of understanding.

Young Royal – submissive.
This is the person that ultimately wants to be good, follow the rules, get rewarded, and be praised. They will push up against the rules to see just how far they stretch, and to make sure their Dominant type is watching. Yes, they will sometimes overstep. This is why they need a reminder.

An example of a submissive young royal would be Advisor/young royal. Someone to tell them what to do, and be held accountable.

Young Royal – Dominant
This is the person who doesnt follow the rules because they make the rules. If their caregiver tells them no, they may stomp on a foot, pull hair, slap, etc. These people are the ones in control. Example. They dont want 6 strawberries; they want THOSE 6 strawberries, cut in perfect halves, on the left side of the castle shaped plate, with 3 different chocolate dances on the right to be dipped into. And by God, they’ll have it or else!

An example of a Dominant young royal would be
Young Royal \ servant. This works well with masochistic service oriented people. The Young Royal demands , the servant delivers.

There are also multi little dynamics. Example.
Middle/little. Does anyone remember how when Mom left and our older sibling was in charge? Remember how the older sibling bossed us around and made us do all the chores and threaten to beat us if we didnt? Ta-da! That’s this sort of dynamic.

Also, we can reverse this to Little/middle. This is when the younger of the two, controls the power through, crying to Mom, saying you hit them, fear tactics, youthful manipulation, etc. The little has the control here.

There are also many other dynamics involving Dominant or submissive pets, but that’s for another time.

I know I have barely scratched the surface on this very interesting set of personalities and dynamics. Hopefully you continue your education and seek out people to talk with and learn from..

So, whatever they are, they are definitely to stay.

Now go cover someone in stickers, tie a sheet around your shoulders and be the superhero you are you pretty little princess you.

The post Littles, Middles, and Bigs, oh my! appeared first on Free the Kink.

One of the very asked, yet hard to define questions about living a 24\7 dynamic are the “How-tos.” How to do this. How to do that. Et cetera,  et cetera,  you get the idea. For me, in my experience, through trial and error,  it is best to write, in full detail,  exactly what one wishes to see. In writing,  the rules and protocols become real. They are now seen. They can be referenced. They are tangible on that piece of paper. There can be no confusion. I would dare to even say they are set in stone; but alas, although extremely important,  they are penned in ink.  However,  let us not use the invisible kind, but a strong and solid black or blue; you know,  the same colors that some of our pain sluts aka masochists enjoy to wear.  But I digress, let us continue. 

I have created a chart. I do so enjoy charts. They bring me happiness in being consistent. Whenever a question arises, reference the chart for clarification.  Simple. Easy. Efficient.  I do so like efficiency. 

This chart is a way, the way, that I run my daily monitoring of my s type. These are my daily expectations. This chart will give you, the new or old Doms and subs, a creative way to incorporate understanding and proper communication.  Use it as you wish. Adjust it for your own dynamic.  Id expect nothing less of you.  I do hope you enjoy. 

Master Daemons Rules of Daily Conduct 

Rule 1. Take care of Masters property. This means yourself. 

• 1 A Eat and drink right according to diet. 
• 1 B Exercise according to goals.
• 1 C Take meds as prescribed 
• 1 D Bathe and personal hygiene 

Rule 2. Report any change of status. 

• 2 A Stay communicative. 
• 2 B Emotional status: 
• B 1 Sadness
• B 2 Angry 
• B 3 Loneliness
• B 4 Scared
• 2 C Mental status: 
• C 1 Insecurity 
• C 2 Confusion
• C 3 Discomfort in Rules, Protocols
• C 4 Thoughts that can cause resentment
• 2 D Physical status: 
• D 1 Illness or sicknesses
• D 2 Accidents or falls
• D 3 Blood, Breaks ,Sprains
• D 4 Sudden health changes 

Rule 3 Personal Responsibility – Word

• 3 A Lying is forbidden. 
• 3 B Be open to receive instruction.
• 3 C Be transparent, no matter the cost
• 3 D Have candor. Speak in real truths. 

Rule 4 Personal Responsibility- Deed

• 4 A Always keep ones word
• 4 B Never cause harm to self or another
• 4 C Always Walk your Talk.
• 4 D Comport yourself with grace 

Rule 5 Forgiveness

• 5 A Forgive yourself for mistakes once corrected.
• 5 B Forgive others for trespasses against you, but learn from it so it doesn’t happen again.
• B 1 DO NOT allow them to rent space in your head. 

Rule 6 Boundaries 

• 6 A Set healthy, with love not a machete 
• 6 B Maintain and adjust as deemed prudent 

Rule 7 Love

• 7 A Love yourself unconditionally. 
• 7 B Treat others you love genteelly. 
• 7 C Love your world and treat with respect
• 7 D Love your family fully w\o expectations
• 7 E New love found, See Rule 2.

Add more as necessity demands. Add your own flair to reflect your own and unique dynamic. Have fun with this chart. Life is too short to drink cheap wine out of a box.  Love each day fully. 

After all, you are in one of the best dynamics to bring great happiness to your life. 

Enjoy it.

The post The Daily Struggle appeared first on Free the Kink.