The Power of Role Playing

Role playing is the art of stepping into a character or scenario to explore fantasies and deepen connections. It’s a playground for your imagination where the boundaries of reality blur, and the possibilities are endless. By embracing different roles, you and your partner can experience new facets of your dynamic and intensify your bond.

Scenario 1: The Naughty Student and Strict Teacher

Channel your inner rebel or disciplinarian with this classic scenario. The student has been misbehaving and must be taught a lesson by the strict teacher. This dynamic allows for a delicious mix of power exchange, anticipation, and playful punishment.

Setup:

• Costumes: A school uniform for the student and professional attire for the teacher.
• Props: A desk, ruler, chalkboard, and detention slips.
• Dialogue: Establish the misbehavior and the consequences. Use phrases like, “You’ve been very naughty,” and “You must be punished.”

Tips:

• Build tension by making the student confess their misdeeds.
• Incorporate light spanking or other punishments agreed upon during pre scene negotiations.
• Ensure aftercare is provided, especially after intense scenes.

Scenario 2: The Captive and Captor

Feel the thrill of capture and surrender with this adventurous scenario. One partner is the daring spy or runaway who has been caught and must face the whims of their captor. This dynamic is perfect for exploring themes of control and submission.

Setup:

• Costumes: Comfortable, easy-to-remove clothes for the captive and dark, authoritative attire for the captor.
• Props: Rope or cuffs for bondage, a blindfold, and a sturdy chair.
• Dialogue: Establish the captive’s “crimes” and the captor’s intentions. Use phrases like, “You’ll tell me everything,” and “I’m in control now.”

Tips:

• Enhance the scene with light interrogation and teasing.
• Ensure all bondage is safe and consensual with clear safe words and signals.
• Use sensory deprivation, like blindfolds, to heighten the captive’s anticipation and vulnerability.

Scenario 3: The Royalty and Servant

Step into a world of luxury and servitude with the royalty and servant scenario. One partner plays the demanding monarch, while the other is their obedient servant. This scenario is excellent for exploring service dynamics and pampering.

Setup:

• Costumes: Regal attire for the royalty and simple, humble clothes for the servant.
• Props: A throne or plush chair, a feather duster, and various items for pampering.
• Dialogue: Establish the royalty’s demands and the servant’s duties. Use phrases like, “You will serve me,” and “As you wish, my liege.”

Tips:

• Focus on acts of service, like massages, feeding, or grooming.
• Incorporate elements of worship and adoration.
• The servant should always seek to please and anticipate the royalty’s needs, enhancing the power dynamic.

Scenario 4: The Doctor and Patient

Dive into a medical fantasy with the doctor and patient scenario. One partner is the thorough doctor, while the other is the nervous patient in need of a “special” examination. This scenario is perfect for those who enjoy authority, examination, and care dynamics.

Setup:

• Costumes: A lab coat and stethoscope for the doctor and a hospital gown for the patient.
• Props: Medical tools (real or fake), a table or bed, and latex gloves.
• Dialogue: Establish the patient’s “symptoms” and the doctor’s authority. Use phrases like, “Let’s see what’s wrong,” and “This might feel a little uncomfortable.”

Tips:

• Focus on gentle, consensual touch and exploration.
• Incorporate elements of vulnerability and trust.
• Ensure all activities are consensual and within comfort zones, with clear safe words and signals.

Scenario 5: The Explorer and Jungle Native

Embark on an exotic adventure with the explorer and jungle native scenario. One partner is the intrepid explorer, while the other is the wild native who captures them. This dynamic allows for playful exploration and power exchange.

Setup:

• Costumes: Safari gear for the explorer and tribal attire for the native.
• Props: Rope or vine for bondage, a camp setup, and jungle sounds.
• Dialogue: Establish the explorer’s capture and the native’s curiosity or dominance. Use phrases like, “You’re my prisoner now,” and “I must learn your ways.”

Tips:

• Play with themes of curiosity, discovery, and cultural exchange.
• Enhance the scene with role-specific rituals or activities.
• Ensure all activities are safe, consensual, and respectful of cultural themes.

Tips for Successful Role Playing

Communication is Key: Before diving into any role play, discuss boundaries, limits, and safe words. Ensure both partners are comfortable and excited about the scenario.

Stay in Character: Immerse yourself fully in the role for a more authentic and enjoyable experience. Use costumes, props, and dialogue to enhance the fantasy.

Be Flexible: While staying in character is fun, be open to adjusting the scene if something isn’t working or if either partner feels uncomfortable.

Prioritize Aftercare: After an intense scene, take time to provide aftercare. This can include cuddling, discussing the scene, or any other activities that help both partners come down from the high.

Unleash Your Imagination

Role playing is a fantastic way to add excitement and depth to your dynamic. By stepping into different characters and scenarios, you can explore new fantasies, strengthen your bond, and create unforgettable experiences. So, let your imagination run wild, communicate openly with your partner, and embark on these thrilling adventures together. Happy Role Playing Everyone!

The post Role Playing Scenarios to Spice Up Your Scene appeared first on Free the Kink.

Step 1: Find the Right Dungeon Space

• Choose Your Sanctuary

The first step in creating your BDSM dungeon is selecting the ideal space. Whether it’s a dedicated room, a converted basement, a walk-in closet or just a secluded corner of your bedroom, choose a space that offers privacy and discretion. Consider soundproofing options to ensure that your sessions remain intimate and undisturbed.

• Maximize Your Space

If you’re working with a smaller area, we got you covered! Creativity is your best friend. Utilize vertical space with wall-mounted equipment and storage solutions. Mirrors can also make the space feel larger and add a tantalizing visual element to your play.

Step 2: Setting the Mood

• Lighting for Atmosphere

Lighting sets the tone for your dungeon. Opt for dimmable lights to create a sensual and intimate ambiance. Red or purple hues can evoke a sense of mystery and passion. Consider adding fire-proof candles or LED lights (they even make color-changing LED Lightbulbs) to enhance the atmosphere without compromising safety.

• Sensual Décor

Decorate your dungeon with items that stimulate the senses and fuel your fantasies. Think velvet drapes, plush rugs, and luxurious fabrics. Artwork featuring erotic themes or BDSM motifs can also add a personal touch and inspire your play.

Step 3: Essential Dungeon Equipment

• Sturdy Furniture

Invest in high-quality, sturdy furniture designed for BDSM play. A well-built St. Andrew’s Cross, spanking bench, or bondage bed can serve as the centerpiece of your dungeon.

• Versatile Restraints

Ensure you have a variety of restraints to cater to different scenarios. Leather cuffs, rope, and spreader bars are essential. For a unique touch, consider suspension equipment like ceiling hooks or a suspension frame, perfect for advanced bondage play.

Small Space Tips: Secure hooks to studs in wall for a great place to attached restraints. Over the door organizers are an inexpensive way to store all kinds of implements with minimal space.

Step 4: Safety First

• Safety Gear

Safety is paramount in any BDSM play. Stock your dungeon with essential safety gear, including first aid kits, safety shears, and fire extinguishers. Ensure that all furniture and equipment are securely installed and regularly checked for wear and tear.

• Communication Tools

Establish clear communication channels with your play partners. Agree on safe words or signals that can be easily understood and used to stop or modify play if needed. Consent and communication are the cornerstones of a safe and enjoyable BDSM experience.

Step 5: Enhance the Sensory Experience

• Impact Toys

Expand your collection with a variety of impact toys such as paddles, floggers, canes, and crops. A variety from thuddy to stingy, ensures every session is uniquely exhilarating.

•  Sensory Deprivation Tools

Elevate your play with sensory deprivation tools like blindfolds, hoods, and earplugs designed to heighten other senses and create an intense, immersive experience.

•  Temperature Play Accessories

Introduce temperature play into your sessions with accessories like glass or metal dildos that can be heated or cooled.

Step 6: Organize and Maintain

•  Storage Solutions

Keep your dungeon organized with efficient storage solutions. Lockable cabinets or discreet storage boxes ensure that your toys and equipment are kept safe and out of sight when not in use. Clean and sanitize your equipment after every session to maintain hygiene and longevity.

•  Regular Updates

Your BDSM dungeon should evolve with your desires and experiences. Regularly update your equipment and decor to keep things fresh and exciting. Attend workshops, community events or join an online community like, Free the Kink to gain new ideas and techniques that you can incorporate into your play space.

Sanctuary of Sensuality

Creating the perfect BDSM dungeon at home is a journey of creativity, passion, and dedication. Unleash your inner designer, gather your tools of pleasure, and let your imagination run wild.

Your personal dungeon awaits—May your dungeon be a masterpiece of pleasure and delight!

The post Creating the Perfect BDSM Dungeon at Home appeared first on Free the Kink.

BDSM is like an ocean…with depths no one has even reached, yet alone explored yet. So we’re swimming along and then BOOM…we join a BDSM/Kink Community online. And we love it! So many smart, funny, sexy, bold people!!! We are so excited we just want to dive in and start doing all manner of wild and fun shit! Yet that in no way means we shouldn’t exercise restraint (figuratively, in this instance lol). And while some may think a bunch of “look how domly I am” memes, “I wish I was owned” posts will get someone’s attention, they’re absolutely right. It will. But NOT always like they hoped. Because being thirsty, aggressive, arrogant and/argumentative isn’t sexy or appealing to everyone, y’all. You want someone to notice you? Be authentic. Respectful. Engaging. Funny. Confident. And of course, well hydrated lol.

Never forget that there are also sharks there as well, swimming alongside us. Bloodthirsty, aggressive as hell, not letting us continue to swim forward. Why not? Because they are hungry and will not be denied. Well fishies, what should we do about the sharks in the water? There are a few reasons why there are so many sharks in the ocean. There is plenty of food. The environment is very friendly and inviting for them. They like it where they are and they aren’t in a hurry to move. And that can make life in a vast ocean seem small, dangerous and hopeless at times.

Thirst and desperation are ruining the true nature of BDSM. Too many folks are on Social Media begging for dom/mes and subs. And a lot of them are not even working towards being worthy.

Education, patience, self control and commitment are critical.

Frequent Self Reflection is an important part of growth during the journey.

Ask yourself…

1. How did I become intrigued by BDSM?
2. How does it enhance my life?
3. How can I enhance someone else’s life?
4. What do I need to do to be worthy of someone’s dominance/submission?
5. Where/how do I begin?
6. What mistakes have I made/learned from so far?

Self Reflection will also help you identify if you are a regular fish or a shark yourself. And Self Reflection, Self Assessment and Self Regulation are not things that we do once then stop. It’s like Medication prescribed for long periods of time…you don’t stop taking it just because you feel better. You may observe that your perspective about things changes over time. Growth is a beautiful thing. But growth doesn’t just protect us from predators; it can prepare us for them. We’ll start to notice their patterns. What their preferences are. When we can discern how, when, where and who they target we can avoid a potentially disastrous outcome.

For instance…that seemingly harmless or well intentioned post/comment could create a feeding frenzy. Being mindful of what we say and do is critical. Is their response well intentioned or predatory? And no…not implying we can or should try to read people’s minds. this girl is talking about discernment. Being cautious and aware.

Take some time to focus. Figure out which direction you need to go and get going.

Bottom line…we may not be able to avoid sharks because after all this is their habitat, too. But we CAN become more comfortable and confident about swimming along with them while not becoming shark food.

Be safe out there, y’all. And for all the sharks out there…prepare to miss a few meals because of less opportunities. Okay, bye.

~ His Duchess

The post Swimming With Sharks appeared first on Free the Kink.

The Bartender smiled and said, “What can I get ya, hon?” As she scanned the back patio she realized that she felt out of place. She turned back to the Bartender, smiled and said, “Yes…a fully fueled getaway car.” They both laughed. Several other people came to the bar. One man said to her, “That is a cool ass necklace! How do you take it off?” Taking a deep breath and sip of her drink, she prepared to respond. She smiled and said,  “It doesn’t come off.” It was at that point that a lady in their group touched the man’s arm and whispered in his ear. His eyes became fixed on the Collar. He then turned and huddled with 3 men in the group. As she walked away from the bar, 2 of the men followed her. “What’s up, beautiful? Bet you’re bored as hell here, huh?” She smiled and said, “Not at all.” She returned to her table. They sat down, too. “I bet you know a great after hours spot. Somewhere to have some REAL fun, right?” She had heard enough. She got up and walked away. In the ladies room, she was washing her hands when she noticed the whispers. Here we go, she thought to herself. Heading back to the reception, a couple walked toward her. “We’d like to talk to you about something…private. We saw a video online so we know what you do. We’d love to spend some time with you.”
Wowwwwww, she thought to herself.
She excused herself and headed for the door.
In a matter of minutes, several people were given information about her and ran with it. Once she was in her hotel room, she laughed, shook her head and relaxed. “Here we go AGAIN.”  She already knew that more would come tomorrow morning. She had several new Friend Requests and messages. She shook her head.

as·sump·tion

/əˈsəm(p)SH(ə)n/

noun

A thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

In life there are many things we all know to be true. There are just as many things that we convince ourselves are true.

Okay, I’ll ask…who has experienced someone making assumptions about them and their Alternative Lifestyle activities? That little gleam in their eyes when they find out about us? The body language? And then…we can see their wheels turning. And sometimes, they immediately flood us with questions and/or declarations. And that informs us how they manage their assumptions about us and the Alternative Lifestyle as a whole. Here are a few Fun Facts regarding some assumptions made about us OFTEN…

Fun Fact: Watching Bondage Porn and having rough sex does NOT mean you are a Dom. And being choked or even dominated during sex does NOT mean you are a sub.

Fun Fact: You cannot insult or shame someone about their lifestyle then get salty when they don’t want to play with you.

Fun Fact: Thirst is an automatic turn off.

Fun Fact: Everyone has the right to be selective.

Fun Fact: Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, deserves respect and freedom from judgment.

Fun Fact: Flirting will NOT always lead to sex.

Fun Fact: When someone in a relationship turns you down it doesn’t mean their partner is insecure or controlling. Accept that they just don’t want YOU.

Fun Fact: Understand and accept that everyone is not on the same level.

Fun Fact: A LOT of male submissives and female dominants are STRAIGHT.

Fun Fact: We are NOT sex monsters who are so horny that we will hump anyone that smiles at us.

Fun Fact: We are incredibly kind, considerate, safe and authentic.

Now…we ALL make assumptions, y’all. this girl made several assumptions at the beginning of this article.  We may not be as far out there, but it happens every day. A few tips about Assumptions…

1. Acknowledge they happen. Such is life.
2. Ask questions. Exchange assumptions with facts instead. Clarification is the key.
3. Listen with your full attention. Don’t zone out when you hear something that intrigues, annoys, arouses or upsets you. You’ll miss the information needed to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunication.
4. Bring mindfulness into your daily life. Take time to process everything.
5. Breathe through emotional reactions and uncomfortable assumptions. Recognize how you feel and get beyond your knee jerk reactions.

Remember…Our response to an effed up or even innocent assumption can bring clarity or conflict.

Also, expectations formed by assumptions will oftentimes be unrealistic because they are not based in fact.

Now…for those of you who read this and proved this girl’s assumptions false…thanks, y’all.

~ His Duchess

The post Oops! appeared first on Free the Kink.

Adding a third for a threesome requires thoughtful care.

As you may be aware, threesomes are one of the most common fantasies amongst couples…Whether you have a lifestyle as “unconventional” as mine or you are simply looking to spice up your relationship, there is an etiquette to be adhered to when bringing in a third party.

Because sexuality (For some ridiculous reason) remains taboo in regular social settings, it can be difficult to uncover the unwritten rules without jumping right in. The main issue with this is, by creating a hands on, learn-as-you-go experience, the third party is oftentimes left feeling like an experimental pleasure toy. 

My responsibility to my sexual partners is to ensure their pleasure is a priority, that they feel safe, heard, and respected…My job here today is to communicate with you, dear Free the Kink reader, how you can assume the same responsibility for yours.

Okay.

Before we delve into the how, one should discuss the who of the threesome.

As someone who believes in compersion…My wholehearted participation in the happiness of others (In this case, my submissive) and the people we bring into our relationship are compatible with that fantasy. 

So…What Are You Looking for as a Couple?

It is important for the couple to talk about what type of person they would like to have the threesome with and what they want exactly. This will help determine which desires each of you are looking to fulfill, and the compatibilities you seek in a third. 

Some great questions you and your partner should ask yourselves/each other are:

• What specific things would you love to see/do with a third involved?
• How do you see the experience unfolding?
• What things are completely off limits?

Side note: Threesomes, are not exclusive to just one type of fantasy, and can differ greatly in logistics. In today’s world, there are a myriad of ways to find a third – oftentimes known as a unicorn. There are apps such as 3Fun, 3Way, Feeld, 3Somer, or platforms that attract a diverse range of people and kinks, such as FetLife.

Hiring a sex worker to fulfill this fantasy is a viable option. In many places there are laws that govern sex work and you may have to consider your feelings about this. For some people, it may feel like the only option, and that is perfectly okay. Having a professional navigate this new territory with you can be quite reassuring, even liberating. Just remember, whether your third is a pro or not, they should receive the same courtesy, respect, and empathy as your primary partner.

Communicating with the Third

In the wise words of Emily Morse, “Communication on is lubrication.” What that means is, the more you communicate with your third about sex, the smoother (and better) the experience will be. Why? Because it eliminates incompatible partners and guesswork with those you do pursue a sexual relationship with.

I offer you a simple guide on when and how to communicate with your third, keeping in mind that every party’s voice should be heard.

Before the Threesome

*Determining likes and limits

Get to know what your unicorn likes, as well as their limits. Ask about physical abilities and triggers, and share yours. Practice active listening by acknowledging these things verbally. Ensure you have a shared definition of what each person means when they say things like “threesome” or “kinky” or “cuckqueen fantasy.” Knowing what each party is looking for will help navigate the process and keep you from awkward sexual encounters with those whom you do not vibe with.

If you have hired a sex worker, ask them their process, and what their expectations are of you (Yes, including payment!). Share any expectations you may have and allow them to express their feelings on those. Remember they are offering their time and body, so maintain professionalism and respect.

*Safety and Protection

It is always important to speak about safety, emotional and physical.

Come up with a “check-in” system that ensures enthusiastic consent throughout the experience. Many sexual health advisers suggest the “Stoplight System” as an easy form of communication during sexual experiences. Green means everything is fine and it is safe to continue. Yellow could mean slow down, be cautious, or perhaps it is time to switch things up. Red is a hard stop. This requires tailoring to best suit your situation. 

If your third is a sex worker, they may have a preferred system…Let them share it with you.

I also suggest choosing a word that can be used to indicate the need for a break. My submissive and I use the word “Break” (Yep, very original) as it is clearly distinguishable between intimate sounds and expressions. 

If verbal communication is going to be impeded (with a gag or during oral sex, for example) a “Safe Signal” a gesture that is tough to miss, like dropping some coins or a set of keys, is a good idea to have in place.

Keep in mind that putting such a system safeguards the physical and emotional wellbeing of each party.

Secondly, make sure you communicate and have STI and pregnancy prevention measures in place.

If you and your partner have found the perfect third, and are excited to move forward, here are a few details you should consider:

• Who will be hosting the main event? Is your third more comfortable being on their own territory?
• Do you have any activities planned beforehand – maybe a threeway dinner date?
• What is everyone’s availability and are their time restraints? For example, will you have a sleepover? Does someone have to pick up the kids in three hours or work early the next day?
• Is everyone up to speed on boundaries and expectations?
• Is this a one-time only event, or are you hoping to make it a regular thing?
• Hygiene, hygiene, hygiene!

During the Threesome

Communication during sex can feel tricky. This is where your pre-established check-in system comes in. Every so often, see how your third is doing and if they need anything. A simple, “is everyone having a good time?” or “what light are we all at?” could suffice.

Additionally, I suggest keeping spare condoms and lube close by.

Aftercare

This time is critical to ensure that the unicorn does not feel used. Whether or not the person is providing a paid service, it is important to continue the communication, ensure they had a good time, and remain open to them physically and emotionally.

Depending on the sexual experience (for example, vanilla versus BDSM), your third may require a different level of aftercare. Do not hesitate to offer compliments and appreciation, drinks and cuddles, and keep dialogue open about the experience.

If your third party is a sex worker, adhering to their post-sex protocols (if any) is critical in maintaining a professional relationship, as well as respecting their process.

The Bottom Line

Respect and empathy go a long way!

With every sexual experience is the opportunity to discover more about yourself, your partner, and the people you let into your bed. Take care of each other, behave, and have fun!

The post Threesomes appeared first on Free the Kink.

“Defilement is a term for the act of polluting, damaging, or otherwise violating a fetish object, an intimate partner, or oneself for sexual arousal or gratification. The arousal that stems from defilement is known as anophelorastia.”
~ Kinkly

Hey, y’all! So, let’s talk about this, shall we? The FLYGOD LOVES this girl in pantyhose, stockings and fishnets. Yet sometimes, after He admires her wearing them, they are ripped, cut, even torn off.

Through the decades of this girl’s journey, this classification was new to her. she actually had another of those, “It has a name!” moments that are constant in Our Thing. That is one reason research is so critical; it demystifies our deepest, darkest thoughts, feelings, actions and desires, y’all.

Speech over…now back to it.

Defilement has many forms and this girl freely admits she only knows a few of them.

There is definitely something Primal about Defilement. Smearing makeup, tearing, slicing, ripping off clothing. Ruining someone or something they’re wearing after admiring how wonderful they looked. And being ruined can free us to surrender ourselves to the moment and just be who and what we are and allow our pure instincts to take over.

Time for The Pillars, y’all!

COMMUNICATION. Discussing Defilement is crucial, preferably during Vetting. There may be some trauma attached to it, making it a limit. Definitely necessary to speak out about that. If it makes you a wet sticky mess or harder than a brick just thinking about it, let it be known. If you’ve never done it before, let it be known. Discuss what you’ve learned through research and from others and/or share your previous experiences. Clear, consistent communication sets the stage for deciding whether Defilement takes place or not in our Dynamics.

HONESTY. Some of us may be curious about it but hesitant or even afraid to try it. Being truthful about how we feel is absolutely critical. Don’t want your clothes messed up? Say that! Don’t feel comfortable smearing someone’s makeup after they took the time to put it on? Say that! After trying it out you feel uncomfortable or ready for more? Say that! Be honest with each other before, during and after Defilement takes place.

TRUST. Defilement and CNC often go hand in hand, so trust is usually already established. However, if you are exploring the idea of incorporating Defilement into your Dynamic(s), make sure you trust each other completely first. Flinching because of lack of trust, uncertainty or fear at the wrong moment may cause injury or even worse. Negative Psychological effects are possible as well. Trust can be compromised.  So we all must do the work to build and maintain trust before, during and after Defilement takes place.

RESPECT. Listen…just because someone enjoys ruining us doesn’t mean they honor or value us any less than they should. Far from it. And yes, while there are also possible elements of Degradation and Humiliation involved as well, Respect is still a HUGE part of Defilement. We must remember to always be respectful of each other’s wishes regarding Defilement.

So…as with EVERYTHING in Our Thing…whatever we get into, make sure we can get through it safely so we can do it AGAIN and AGAIN!

Thanks for reading, y’all.

~His Duchess

The post Ruined. appeared first on Free the Kink.

Sounds fun, right?

Now, there are several types of rope bondage. There is decorative bondage, where the goal is not so much to tie you up but to dress you in rope. Harnesses, corsets, and rope bras/panties are usually decorative. There is floor bondage…Where a bottom is tied but remains on the floor. One more type is suspension bondage, where the bottom is tied, then suspended in the air, supported only by rope.

Just like there are all kinds of rope play, there are all kinds of rope, too. Not every rope is good for every kind of play. Choosing the right rope can make the difference between an enjoyable experience and an unfortunate accident (especially in the case of suspension bondage).

Here are a few types of rope that riggers use, and their best assigned purposes.

The Characteristics of Rope
Riggers evaluate rope based on the following characteristics:
• Flexibility
• Texture
• Friction
• Stretch
• Durability
• Strength

All of these are important to consider when choosing the right type of rope for your activities. Friction is especially important when dealing with knots. A low-friction rope is more likely to slip or tighten. Texture is important for your bottom’s skin…Some ropes, like sisal or manila, are generally not appropriate because of their very rough texture.

Strength and stretch matter most when it comes to full or partial suspension work. You do not want to use a weak rope for suspending someone.

Synthetic Bondage Rope
A lot of bondage beginners will use some kind of synthetic rope to start. It is inexpensive, widely available in hardware stores, easy to clean, and fairly easy to manipulate. Nylon and polyester are the typical materials.

Nylon RopeNylon rope is quite flexible, soft to the touch, and has low friction and a little bit of stretch. It is very durable and very strong. It is a good choice to get you started, especially if you are interested in Western bondage (as opposed to Japanese shibari). It comes in many colors and sizes, which lets you be artistic. However, please bear in mind that the low friction means that knots are likely to slip or tighten, so riggers must ensure the safety of their bottoms with extra wraps. Nylon rope is excellent for floor play and damsel-in-distress type bondage, decorative bondage, and for support in suspension bondage.

Polyester RopePolyester rope is also cheap, strong and durable. Its moderate flexibility and rougher texture make it a less likely choice for bondage work. It is still viable, but not usually a popular choice in general.

Natural Bondage Rope
For most experienced riggers, natural materials is where it is really at. The favorite material depends on the activity and rigger; for example, shibari enthusiasts tend to use jute, which is the traditional choice.

Jute RopeJust rope is the favorite choice for both floor and suspension shibari riggers. Jute is flexible and a little rough on the skin, has high friction and low stretch, and it has good strength but low durability. Well treated jute rope can be made to feel softer on the skin, but it needs to be replaced frequently. It is easy to dye as well.

Hemp RopeHemp rope has the same characteristics as jute, but has a noticeable smell and is a bit heavier. Many riggers enjoy hemp because it softens with time. It is also easier to find than jute and is strong enough to manage suspension work as well.

Linen Rope
Linen rope is softer and lighter than jute or hemp, but shares the same characteristics.

Cotton RopeCotton rope is a good choice for beginners because it is cheap and easily available. It is quite flexible, feels soft on the skin, provides moderate friction, and has a little stretch. However, the durability and strength of cotton rope is low. Cotton can be used for the same activities as nylon rope, but it not really suitable for suspension work because of its low strength. It is great for decorative work as well. Cotton rope is also easy to dye, which means you can buy it undyed and make it any color that you want.

Silk and Bamboo Rope
Silk and bamboo are used for luxury ropes. These are quite expensive, yet provide stunning results when used. They have the best characteristics of both natural and synthetic rope (flexible, soft, good friction, a low stretch, some durability, and good strength), but this comes at a cost. Bamboo has the bonus of being naturally anti-bacterial and shiny like nylon.

Sisal, manila, and coir are not suitable for bondage work because they are stiff and rough. It would be best to avoid these types.

So…The Best Rope for the Job?
If you are a beginner, nylon and cotton are your best choices. They are soft, easy to work with, cheap, and widely available. As you gain confidence and knowledge, you can move on to more specialized ropes like jute and hemp, depending on the purpose.

The post Learning the Ropes appeared first on Free the Kink.

It was a hectic day at work. she worked outside and during December in Germany, driving a forklift can be brutal. As she drove toward the loading dock, she saw him. The Warehouse Supervisor. The Soldier in charge. Standing there, looking uncomfortable. She parked the forklift and walked toward him. “You can come in and help with Receiving. It’s too cold out there.” She smiled as she noticed how he was standing. “Thank you. I should be able to thaw before dinner time now.” She shook her keys as she walked past him. Later that night, as she drove to her destination, she smiled while touching her keychain. Upon arrival, she walked into the building and unlocked a door. It was dimly lit as she walked in. Walking past the bathroom into the main area, she saw him…kneeling…and naked. “Good evening, Regina. the toy has been waiting and is ready to serve, Queen.” She took off her coat and stood quietly in front of him. “Excellent. Inspection, toy.” the toy slowly stood up and assumed the position. She checked his cage. “Has the toy tampered with this?!” As she gently tapped on it, the toy flinched. “Never, Regina.” the toy gasped as she traced the key in her hand across the toy’s lips, shoulders, neck, nipples and around the toy’s navel. “Is the toy worthy?” She smiled as she looked down at the Chastity Cage the toy has been wearing for a week this time. Over a period of months she has been working with the toy. Being patient and transparent. Talking about hygiene, good/bad habits, sleeping, arousal and orgasms, everything. She is proud of the toy. “the toy is never worthy, Regina.” As she took the toy’s chin in her hand and turned his face toward her to meet her gaze she smiled and whispered, “Interesting. Let’s work on that, shall we? Wall. NOW.” She heard the toy whimper then assume the position. the next thing the toy felt and heard was the familiar whoosh of air as she wound up her flogger. “Congratulations! The toy soldier is worthy of 7 strikes!”

Heyyy, y’all! this girl has been having some conversations with the amazing male submissives in her orbit. One of the things she has discovered is that they have varied viewpoints about Chastity.

For those who aren’t familiar with Chastity, let’s start with the dictionary definition, which is “the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse.” Well, the Kink definition is pretty much the same. Male submissives who indulge in Chastity might avoid penetration only or any type of sexual activity altogether. And that includes Masturbation. So it’s understandable why some simply aren’t into it. this girl had one toy that was VERY enthusiastic about Chastity and even enjoyed wearing a Chastity Cage because of not being able to be aroused without being in this girl’s presence. Another toy said that the concept of Chastity wasn’t going to work because his wife was against it and our dynamic was more about Service and Worship.

Speaking of a Chastity Cage…for those who aren’t familiar with them…is a brief overview alright?

A Chastity Cage is a device used to prevent a man from getting an erection and therefore controls his ability to masturbate and/or have sex and orgasms. It covers the penis and prevents the man from touching it. It can also make erections uncomfortable. It often has a lock attached and the person who has the key is usually a Dominant/Top, also known as a Keyholder. Once again, keep in mind that this is something that definitely requires safety and consent. So PLEASE bring it up during Vetting!

Chastity is a very personal and intimate experience. It takes Communication, Commitment, Consistency, Caution and of course, Consent. Time for the Pillars.

COMMUNICATION. As this girl mentioned earlier, she discovered through Vetting what her toys’ viewpoints were concerning Chastity. But the communication continued. Before, during and after being in Chastity. There is much to learn about each other. Talk about how it feels mentally, physically, emotionally. Talk about observations and Lessons Learned. Just TALK, dangit!

HONESTY. If Chastity is not for you, say that! If Chastity does it for you, say that! If you’d prefer a different device and/or method for Chastity, SPEAK UP! Don’t withhold the truth from each other. Otherwise it will affect other areas of your relationship/dynamic.

TRUST. If you haven’t established trust between each other, Chastity is stressful as hell. You’re wearing a device you don’t even have the key for. And what if there’s an emergency? There should be absolutely no doubt you are safe and your needs will be met. There should be absolutely no doubt that they won’t tamper with the device and/or find ways to violate Chastity. So take the necessary steps to build trust before engaging in Chastity.

RESPECT. Chastity is important to those who engage in it. Honor that. Be available to each other. The responsiblity and honor that comes with being a Keyholder is enormous. Take it seriously. Take Chastity seriously. It is a commitment that should be appreciated. And if you aren’t on the same page after progressing along your Journeys…respect each other’s feelings.

this girl wholeheartedly appreciated her toys and is in absolute awe of male submissives because they are stronger and more courageous than most of us even realize. It’s an absolute honor and pleasure to share this journey with them.

****Okay, I’ll say it…if you are one of those individuals who mock, disrespect or otherwise talk trash about male submissives (unless that’s their kink, of course)…KNOCK IT OFF before you run up on one whose Dom/me will allow them to knuckle up and beat the brakes off your ignorant asses. Ya dig?

Thanks for reading.

~His Duchess

The post “Lock & Key” appeared first on Free the Kink.

Okay, y’all…let’s  get into this. Sensory Deprivation is used often in BDSM and makes U/us focus on other senses while being deprived  of one or more senses. So let’s talk about a few ways to do it. And trust…there are MANY more. This is just an overview.

*SMELL. The sense of smell can be blocked simply by plugging the nose. This will affect taste to a certain extent as well. Clothespins make this happen easily. Doing this intensifies both the good and the bad. Introducing an incredibly strong scent upon removing the clothespin will be like a shock to the system. There may be increased anxiousness and/or excitement which will heighten the experience. Be safe of course and monitor breathing.

*SIGHT. Restricting the sense of sight is the usual preference  because W/we rely on sight more than the others.  Blindfolds are the number one way to remove sight from the action. W/we can also get rid of peripheral vision, like a horse wearing blinders. Using a mask reduces the scope of vision to what is in front of U/us. Hoods are also  common in BDSM.

*TASTE. W/we can’t really take this one away but overloading it is just as effective. Foods with extremely intense flavors like peppers and sour candy will do the trick. Mouthwash will mask the tastes detected in your mouth and some can even numb the tongue. Adding Pixie Stick powder to the sides of the tongue can be so overwhelming that some folks have actually been brought to tears. Make sure you monitor to avoid the possibility of choking.

*HEARING. Headphones to cancel out noise as well as loud music will do the trick. This one is especially effective against those who are auditory. Loud, pulsating electronic music also causes confusion in addition to restriction of hearing. This is very helpful during Interrogation by causing the submissive to be confused while redirecting their attention to other senses.

*TOUCH. Restricting the sense of touch is a bit different compared to the other senses because skin is the largest organ in the human body. The only way to effectively disturb O/our sense of touch is to either create a barrier (liquid latex, plastic wrap), or through a topical anesthetic that numbs the skin. Applying cold or even ice in certain areas works sometimes with numbing, too. W/we must be aware of latex allergies, seizure disorders, skin/extremity reactions, etc.  before tackling this one.

REMEMBER that W/we must monitor T/them carefully through ALL of these for safety, please.

Time for The Pillars, Y/yall.

•COMMUNICATION. Sensory Deprivation helps U/us with discovering other ways to Communicate with each other. It can build intimacy by being laser focused on the moment and in each other. Exploring Sensory Deprivation always begins with a conversation. Preferably a long one lol.

•HONESTY. Speaking out about and addressing questions, concerns, issues, etc during Vetting,  negotiations and follow ups is critical because it keeps U/us safe and satisfied. So tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth regarding our thoughts and feelings about Sensory Deprivation.

•RESPECT. Let’s focus on Self Respect this time. Sensory Deprivation places U/us in a space of vulnerability and that leads to opportunities for growth. So let’s honor and value O/ourselves and respect the gift of O/our senses, Y/y’all.

•TRUST. Well….if W/we don’t trust T/them, why would W/we allow T/them to deprive U/us of O/our senses? Vetting, Negotiation, Consent…all of these build trust. Avoiding any of these lessens trust. And instead of Sensory Deprivation being a transformative experience, it becomes a stressful uncomfortable one.

Listen…There’s nothing worse than someone literally ripping off the blindfold thinking, “I’m NOT doing this again!” And unfortunately, that is almost as common as the folks who enjoy T/their experience. So W/we must be willing to put in the work to avoid that. After all…Who wouldn’t rather smile, blush or even salivate when merely thinking about O/our Sensory Deprivation experience(s)?

Thanks for reading, Y/y’all.

~His Duchess

The post “One Without The Other” appeared first on Free the Kink.

Being single in the BDSM scene can be fun…You get to try playing with people you meet at munches and events, you get to experiment with new kinks and experiences…Furthermore, you really have nobody to report to but yourself. 

You get to choose, and you get to do whatever you want.

But being single also has its drawbacks, especially if you play often. Whether you are a Top or a bottom, you will sometimes feel what is often called “drop” in the kink community…The lowered mood state that happens after an endorphin high. Although it is more often discussed in the case of bottoms (subdrop) Tops can suffer from it as well (Topdrop or Domdrop)

Even though you may get immediate aftercare after the conclusion of a scene, the effects of drop can last up to a day or two (Perhaps even longer) after a scene. If you are a single kinkster, you may not have someone at home ready to help you through that phase, so you need to learn how to do your own aftercare. 

Here are some tips on how to to do it.

-Have an Aftercare Kit Handy-

Whenever you go out to play, have an aftercare kit ready. Basic aftercare items include arnica gel or vitamin K cream (to rub on the bruised areas and speed up the healing process), a bottle of water or sports drink (to rehydrate after a scene), something sweet like candy or chocolate (to perk you up and give you energy), and anything that makes you feel comfortable like a favorite blanket or a plush toy, etc.

Even though some events may offer aftercare items, you should always make sure you have everything you need ahead of time.

-Understand Your Own Needs-

As you become a more experienced player, you will know instinctively what you need to do (or get done to you) to feel better after a scene. But even if you are just beginning, it is good to pay attention to your instincts and to write down a few notes after a scene.

For example, a single kinkster that I interact with periodically tends to get very woozy and light-headed after a scene. She will have trouble speaking full sentences and doing simple things like putting shoes on or zipping up her dress. She can not be counted on to clean the play area right after a scene.

I, as well as her other play partners understands this, and we will always make sure to sit her down safely while we tidy up, and then take her by the hand and lead her to the aftercare area (For her, chocolate is always welcome, and we usually have some with us)

But as with most, her needs go beyond the few minutes after a scene. The day after, she tends to sleep more, and I can not do much more than watch TV. With this in mind, she will make sure that her day is free of heavy intellectual work, and will watch some silly movies or shows to watch. Also, being an admitted carb-o-holic, her go to is usually pasta and garlic bread during these times.

Keeping a kink journal is really helpful too, especially in one’s first few months. Note your feelings, your thoughts and your cravings. Share it with your play partners so they know what to expect and what to ask when they check on you.

Once you become aware of your post-scene symptoms and needs, you can prepare beforehand so you do not need to worry the day (or days) after playing. Queue up your favorite television shows or movies on the streaming app of your choice, buy the food supplies that you crave ahead of time, and try your best to not make any appointments. Make sure all the work you need to have done is finished which can be a great motivator for procrastinators out there (You know who you are) so you can have a guilt-free day off to recover.

-Be Kind to Yourself-

Let me make this absolutely clear…

Dropping after a scene does NOT indicate weakness.

It is the natural process of your body going back to its natural balance after an endorphin high. It naturally causes feelings of sadness, depression, disconnection and longing.

You need to be kind to yourself and just let the process take its course. Phone your play partner or a kink-friendly friend if you feel overwhelmed. Good play partners will check on you for a day or two after a scene, but sometimes that may be impossible…Such as pick-up for example. Having a friend around to chat and check on you is a good precaution.

-Single Does Not Mean Alone-

Again…Being single does not mean you have to deal with your post-scene drop alone or unassisted. Sure, you have to take care of your own needs first, but there is always a community to reach out to if things get a bit rough. Play partners, kinky friends or even just a BDSM forum where you can write a note and express your feelings can help you deal with the feelings you get after an intense scene.

The post Self-Aftercare Basics For the Single Kinkster appeared first on Free the Kink.