Okay, so Y/you see something that intrigues Y/you and say to yourself, “S/self…I like that! I think I am using/trying that one!” Okay GREAT! But will Y/you research it first? Find out if it is physically/mentally/emotionally/ financially possible to incorporate into Y/your dynamic(s)? Y/you know all the folks that saw “The Movies” that we laugh at because they just jumped in, started buying stuff, ended up in Emergency Rooms worldwide? Yeah well this is the same thing. Only difference is W/we are SUPPOSED TO know better. But do W/we always? No. What if…. we acknowledged how much we really don’t know instead of trying to prove how much we do know? What if… we approached every day ready to learn from anyone and everything? 

So here are a few things to take into consideration.

*For those who consider BDSM a fulfillment of their fantasies, PLEASE do some research.

*For those who consider BDSM a 24/7 experience, PLEASE do some research.

*For those who are considering exploring different elements of BDSM, PLEASE do some research.

*For those who are new to BDSM, PLEASE do some research.

*For those who consider themselves seasoned, experienced veterans of BDSM, PLEASE do some research.

If Y/you’re one of those people who throws away the directions and tries to build the bookshelf on intuition alone, navigating Y/your way through BDSM is probably going to be challenging for Y/you. The vast majority of what W/we call BDSM Education is all about how to maximize fulfillment and minimize risk. Just like with any other opportunity for growth, if W/we want to be good at something W/we really have to dig in. Take some time to learn all about it; not just the specific things W/we are interested in.

It has been stated that BDSM practitioners had lower levels of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), psychological sadism, psychological masochism, borderline pathology, and paranoia. (They showed equal levels of obsessive-compulsive disorder and higher levels of dissociation and narcissism.) Found out these morsels after some research for an essay required by The FLYGOD.

Research is a journey in itself. W/we may start with one thing in mind, then end up on completely different subject. And for this girl, whose top character strength is love of learning, that is exhilarating! this girl, as well as others, is required to conduct research in some form for specific amounts of time daily, weekly, etc. Others dive in when they are curious about something or just simply have the time and inclination. Either way, the potential to learn something is there.

For those who do not share this girl’s enthusiasm, you can incorporate ways to make time and energy used while diving into research well spent. Time limits are helpful. A comfortable, distraction free environment is helpful. A predetermined list of subjects can also be helpful. A research/accountability partner is super helpful.

When researching O/our Thing, W/we can break down the actual research into a few categories, such as physical restriction (bondage, handcuffs, chains); administration of pain (spanking, caning, putting clothespins on the skin); humiliation (gags, verbal humiliation); and a category related to sexual behavior.

A few potential sources for research are…

Human sexuality journals, such as Archives of Sexual Behavior and the Journal of Sex Research

Organizations such as, the Kinsey Institute

Book recommendations

Also keep in mind that having more than one trusted source of information for each subject will provide more knowledge and varied perspectives.

… Or Y/you could simply
Google “BDSM” and see what comes up, but this girl wouldn’t try it at work. Lol

In conclusion…
PLEASE do some research, Y/y’all. OFTEN. The deeper W/we dig…the farther W/we can go on O/our journeys.

Okay, bye.

~His Duchess

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