R: “Okay, a few folx have questions for you. Thanks again for doing this! Ready?”

B: “READY! Let’s do it!”

R: “What is the best and worst thing about your journey as a submissive?”

B: “The best thing is being able to explore the freedom of submission! Sounds weird as hell, I suppose. I’ll slow down. When I say freedom, I mean being able to serve with pleasure! I’m not worried about what others think anymore. I went through a LOT to get here! I’m not afraid of being hurt mentally, physically or emotionally. I love that after a wild day at work, I can shut it all out and enjoy serving. The worst thing was actually finding the one who freed me! The hustlers out there are relentless; even more so now! Searching with DISCERNMENT instead of desperation is a life changer!!! I desperately wanted a Domme! Unfortunately, when their actions don’t align with their words, it’s the worst. You end up trying harder to please someone who only sees you as sucker. And that, well, SUCKS!”

R: “Discernment instead of desperation…LOVE IT!”

B: “Society has been set up in such a way that men feel entitled to, well, EVERYTHING and ANYTHING we want! And when we decide we want to be a submissive, we figure it should be as simple as saying it, and BOOM, we get a Domme! The LOUD voice in our head that says, ‘Okay, we know what we want now! Let’s find it NOW!!! Offer yourself and let the fun begin!’ becomes desperation. The desperation gets worse the longer we search. The TINY SOFT VOICE we ignore that says, “You don’t know SHIT about this woman! Ask questions, jackass!” is our discernment. The key is to use discernment instead of surrendering to the desperation and THAT is easier said than done!”

R: “Ooooh…you went there!!! That’s something EVERY submissive struggles with! However, for men it’s worse because of the entitlement.”

B: “Exactly! Hopefully that answers the question.”

R: “Next question…Are you okay with spending money as part of your submission?”

B: “These questions aren’t fucking around! I figured it was like this…both of us are sharing space and time with each other. Her time is valuable and limited. Her attention and energy are precious. Her knowledge and experience is essential. When all of those things were available to me in a safe environment, I am absolutely okay with spending money! When dealing with a professional it’s required. This isn’t Pretty Woman in reverse. Falling in love isn’t the norm. We meet each other where we meet each other. That means where we search directly affects what we find. If social media is your source, be VERY cautious.”

R: “Some GEMS right there! Thank you! Last question today…What’s the safest way to put yourself out there?”

B: “Can’t answer that one for anyone else. As you know, I was very reckless in the beginning. I ended up at that horrible place being mistreated. Thought it was normal, the way it worked, so to speak. Then Domina swooped in and protected me. Never felt safe in that space before her. It taught me that if it doesn’t feel right, RUN. It also helped me realize that I had to clearly say what I needed, and if they weren’t listening, get the hell out of there. I learned about “interviews” (vetting.) After that, I fell back and focused on being more confident. I learned all I could about who I was, what I was, and why. ESPECIALLY why. And any bdsm space I found myself in, I watched. I learned the rules. I learned about the people. I watched how the rookies were treated. I watched how the Dominants carried themselves, interacted with submissives and their peers. And then came YOU!”

R: “Look at you, sweet as candy! Thanks for the insight, Brian.”

B: “My pleasure! Thank you and FTK for giving us a voice and listening!”

The post The Conversation Continues appeared first on Free the Kink.

She smiled as she thought of him. She straightened herself up as she dialed. Two rings later, she saw the smile she spent a lot of time wiping off his face in various CONSENSUALLY decadent ways. “Hello there! You look fantastic as always! Hope everyone is doing well! I’m in between meetings but I’m looking forward to being of assistance!” She smiled even bigger. “Splendid. Let’s do this!”

*The following is a conversation between this girl and one of her toys in an effort to help everyone understand the male submissive perspective.

Q: Tell us a little about yourself.
A: “Okay. Georgia born, raised in Richmond, VA. Retired Army Officer and entrepreneur. Happily married to and in service to an amazing Goddess. Four children, seven Grandchildren. Three dogs. And former toy of Regina. As a male submissive, I’ve often found myself navigating a complex web of societal expectations and personal desires.”

Q: What are your thoughts about vulnerability regarding male subs?

A: “Right to it, I see! Society often equates masculinity with dominance and control. This makes things more challenging for men to embrace vulnerability. However, in BDSM, vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. As a toy, I’ve learned to surrender control, trusting you and my wife to safely guide me through experiences that push my boundaries.”

Q: And what about Power Exchange?
A: “Well…The power dynamic in BDSM relationships is often misunderstood! As a submissive, I don’t relinquish all control; instead, I choose to trust others with my well-being. This power exchange creates a sense of security, allowing me to explore my desires without fear of judgment.”

Q: And what about Communication and Trust?

A: “Well, hell…Effective communication is crucial in BDSM! I’ve learned to express my desires, limits, and fears openly, creating a foundation of trust. This trust allows us to navigate complex scenes and activities, knowing we’re both on the same page.”

Q: What are your thoughts on Intimacy and Connection?
A: “BDSM has taught me that intimacy extends far beyond physical touch! The emotional connection I share is built on mutual trust, respect, and vulnerability. Together we create a unique bond, fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s desires and needs. And that deepens connection and makes intimacy more meaningful.”

Q: You have said that you learned a LOT about yourself through this journey. Such as?
A: “My journey as a male submissive has been one of self-discovery. I’ve learned to embrace my desires, even when they challenge societal norms! After all…I was expected to be a hard ass, hard charging, tough but fair leader in the Army. BDSM has given me a platform to explore my identity, creativity, and intimacy in ways I never thought possible! I am empathetic AND empowered!”

Q: You ROCK! I know you’re pressed for time. Any last words?
A: Grazie, Regina! Well, I’ll end this with saying that BDSM from a male submissive perspective has given me a unique lens on power exchange, vulnerability, and intimacy. By embracing our desires and vulnerabilities, we can create deep connections and explore new horizons. And, as my grandson says, haters will hate. But I am forever grateful that I embraced the life and ignored the negativity! So glad you’re doing this for us, Regina!”

Q: Okay…now that we’ve touched on the basics…you already know what most folx want to hear about! Care to share some of the good stuff?
A: “Of course they do! Okay, let’s go there! Shall I wax poetic about the first time? Or the time I was struggling with it all and you and Domina Lucia went full primal on me?”

Q: Dealer’s choice.
A: Well…The time had come. After the endless talking, reading, studying, I felt ready! I really wasn’t, though. The excitement, thoughts, emotions, sensations were almost overwhelming. I distinctly recall your voice. Barely heard you. You were very soothing as you blindfolded me. You were scary calm as you commanded me to undress. I was a little shocked and embarrassed that I wasn’t hard. But I WAS excited! You reassured me that was temporary lol. I remember thinking about how cold the room was. As if reading my mind you informed me that you set the room temperature on purpose, and I would thank you later. And I totally did lol. I was frustrated about how much TALKING you were doing! I was ready for some ACTION! Lick your boots, crawl around barking, hop like a bunny, give you a massage, ANYTHING BUT MORE TALKING!”

Q: Even blindfolded, saw it all over your face. You understand why now, correct?
A: “Yes! You were monitoring me. Asking questions, making sure I was there with YOU, and not off in my head. Making sure I was aware of where I was and what was happening to me.”

Q: Did you appreciate the restraint?
A: “Oh YES! I loved the mental as much as the physical. It was exhilarating and agonizing at the same time!”

Q: How about after?
A: “The intimacy following the session was spectacular. Sensual, safe, and FUN! Learning that aftercare is necessary for me was crucial! I have also learned that it is not necessary for everyone.”

Q: What’s your most important advice regarding your brother subs?
A: “Protect yourself out here! Vetting is key! And guard yourself on social media!!! Don’t join a space and lose your mind trying to get attention. The scammers will flock to you while the actual Doms will run from you. Manage your frenzy. Your submission is strength! Anyone who thinks you’re less than because of your path can eff off! Leave that in!”

Q: Final question: What was the defining moment for you?
A: “Chastity! I learned how small and powerful I am! 30 years later and I still get locked up at HER leisure and I totally live for it!”

R: It was soooo good to reminisce with you, BRIAN. Geez, it STILL feels a little off not calling you toy or addressing you by your rank or title! lol! Thank you for sharing a little bit of your experience with us!
B: “It’s a pleasure. Back to life now. Arrividerci, Regina!”

Well…if you lasted this long… Thank you.

The post “A Conversation.” appeared first on Free the Kink.